Cowboys vs. Communists Game Review

It’s a sad day it’s a bad day. Today the Dallas Cowboys lost 26-6 to the Washington Communists. I will remember January 8th, 2023 as a no good very bad Sunday.

From start to finish, everything just went completely wrong. And then, in the afternoon, the Cowboys made it worse by pissing down their leg in the final game of the regular season to finish 12-5 for the second straight season.

After pondering for about 30 minutes after the game, I have decided to chalk this one up to just not giving a fuck. Technically, Dallas could’ve gotten the 1 seed with a Philly and SF loss, but the odds of that happening were slim to none. I suspect the boys in blue knew that and showed up without a care in the world to deliver their worst performance since week 1.

Dak played probably the worst game I’ve ever seen him play. He finished the game with 2 touchdowns, one to Ceedee Lamb and the other to Washington defensive back Kyle Fuller. Or Kendall Fuller, I’m really not sure. Either way, Dak made sure he wasn’t going to leave Washington without his weekly dose of brain damage with a terrible pass. The problem this week was that Dak decided to stay bad for the entire game versus turning it around like he usually does.

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Another big Fuck You goes to Kellen Moore this week. He’s the current season leader in that category. My only hope is that he is saving all the good plays for the playoffs (I doubt it). The truth is he’s just not a very good OC and he has a baby face that I hate. His dedication to running the ball on 1st down and usually second down is unprecedented. If everyone dedicated themselves to something that hard the world would be a better place. It’s Kobe Bryant dedicated to something level insanity. We have had no run game since Terrance Steele went down, and I think Mike McCarthy could out run Zeke at this point. Sad. I understand our WR room is very lackluster outside of 88, but god damn can we just run some fucking play action and air it out? I would rather watch Dak go 25-50 and 2 picks then watch us pound it up the middle again and AGAIN. At least we probably wouldn’t go 3 and out on all but 1 possession.

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The boys are now off to face kisser-of-children Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Bucaneers in round 1. The Cowboys have never beaten Tom Brady. After tonight’s showing, I’m not confident that next Monday is going to be the one. The Bucs are absolute dog shit but somehow that cock sucker will activate the magic horseshoe that lives in his asshole and win the game. We’re either going to lose to Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, or the Eagles this postseason. I can’t think of a worse 3 ways to go out. If we manage to do it in dramatic fashion, I may not get another blog up.

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Cowboys forever.

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