Georgia vs. TCU is the 2022 College Football National Championship match. I am writing this blog with 7:34 left in the 3rd quarter. It’s 45-7.
I fucking hate TCU, but even I didn’t want to see them go out like this. Everybody doubted them all year, only for them to “shock the world” when they beat Michigan in the semi-finals. I was expecting a decently competitive game- the frisky underdog David vs. the overwhelming Goliath. At least give David a puncher’s chance right? Fuck no.
Georgia has officially grabbed college football by the balls. Kirby Smart cannot be stopped. Going into the half, up a million points, he was still pissed off and clearly kept whipping those Dawgs into a frenzy. He needs to be stopped before he’s be charged with manslaughter when his cracked-out team gives a program the first ever on-field death penalty. They are just on another level.
My mind has now shifted to wondering about the safety/sanity of Athens, Georgia tonight. Those psycho-southerners are already world-class alcoholics and winning a national championship for the second straight year isn’t exactly going to send them to AA meetings. Stetson Bennet was clearly blasted on TV for a national interview last year. What will the 5th (6th?) year senior (citizen) have in store for us this year? The guy is 25 years old. Most people his age are starting their young careers, trying to move on from college life. Stetson should be posting his first Real Estate transaction on Instagram right now, and instead, he’ll probably go bar-hopping in Los Angeles looking for a nice lady and a bag of coke to cap off is 12 years of college.
I took a 15 minute break to take a shit while writing this and Georgia now has 65. TCU needs to consider throwing in the towel. What does the TCU coaching staff even say to these kids at this point? Me personally, I’d just quit. You can’t lose if you quit. I’ve actually never lost something in my life. I either win or I quit. Quitters never lose. That would’ve been my message to the team. Better to quit down 30 or so than let it get to where it is now. I feel bad for watching at this point. It feels wrong, inappropriate perhaps.
— Barstool Sportsbook (@BSSportsbook) January 10, 2023https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
I’m embarrassed for the TCU parents who told their poor kids they had a shot tonight. I got a Bleacher Report notification about some TCU watch party earlier. I can only imagine how that’s going.
After thinking on it a little more, I am now more worried for the blood alcohol content of TCU fans tonight than UGA. Depressive drinking is worse than celebratory drinking. Georgia might not even care anymore honestly, everyone could be wrapped up and in bed by 10 PM. Worst national championship of my lifetime. That 15 minute shit I took was the most pleasurable part of my night.
Maybe we’ll get em next year. I am still waiting for my beloved Oklahoma Sooners to compete at this level. Feels impossible after tonight, but damnit I’m gonna hope!
As always, Fuck Texas.
The Armchair Experts 
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