I know we’re all thinking it. This past weekend, everyone’s favorite fuck-ups, the San Diego* Chargers blew a 27-0 lead to the…. Jags. That would be my opening testimony during my prosecution of Brandon Staley if I were a Chargers fan.
How can something like this possibly happen. The world was watching Trevor Lawrence set fire to his reputation with 4 first half interceptions. He was quite literally giving the game to the Chargers, until Brandon Staley put his foot down and said ENOUGH.
I could ask the average football fan, hell, I could probably ask the far below-average football fan what a good strategy might be with a 27-0 lead: run the ball. I’m not one your’re normally going to hear saying those words, but even I can admit a little slow burn run game action in the second half probably would have just got the job done. It’s way more exciting to watch Justin Herbert throw piss-missles into tight windows like a fucking man, but I have to imagine all 46 Chargers fans would’ve settled for some clean, professional handoffs for an hour and a half.
Unfortunatley, this game is simply a microcosm of all the dumb shit Brandon Staley has done since becoming head coach. Justin Herbert is the human equivilant of a ballistic missle (or at leas his arm is), yet somehow Baby Face Brandon has managed to turn him into a check down merchant. I don’t watch the Chargers much but when I do I’m extremely fucking annoyed. It’s football sex when those footballs fly in white-hot down the field, yet it rarely happens! Justin Herbert doesn’t need tight windows to be there, he creates them himself. It’s not out of the question that he could throw a football through a defender and kill him for the completion. Instead of seeing that, Staley tickles our balls all season with a bunch of dump off passes to Austin Ekeler.
The only real explanation must be that Staley has drafted Austin Ekeler in fantasy football for several seasons now (PPR league of course). There is just no other reason to pepper him with 400 targets every season. I also refuse to place blame on Justin Herbert himself. His face is a lot less annoying that Brandon, also we apparaently have an offensive coordinator scape goat as well. I never know when to blame the OC vs the HC. At some point you’d think the head coach would step in and say “that ain’t right?” To be honest it doesn’t look like Staley has the balls. That’s another thing- how does he give these guys orders? It feels like they’re the ones who should be bossing him around. I am now reminded of Joey Bosa slamming his helmet, Brandon Staley scurrying in like a rat and HANDING it back to him, only for Bosa to slam it AGAIN. What the fuck is that? Was Bosa gonna put him timeout? Or spank him in the locker room if his little helmet bitch didn’t grab it for him? Fired on the spot.
I might have to officially declare myself the champion of the Charger’s fans. Will no one else take a stand? It’s not enough to just fire coaches anymore, the punishment must be more severe. It needs to equate to the emotional damage and trauma they put us fans through. From now on, coaches should serve a year in prison for each losing/disapointing season they bring to the team. I honestly beleive this will change the game for the better. With the added pressure, only more esteemed and confident coaches will want the jobs. This will lead to better performance overall. No pressure no diamonds. Unfortunately there has to be a guniea pig, and I elect Brandon Staley. It does feel a little wrong, considering he does have a feminine face. I think he should really try hard to avoid all the Joey Bosa types in the clink. I don’t think they’ll take kindly to him being late with a helmet delivery.
Anyways, good luck future NFL coaches. Prison awaits. Finally we will get some form of justive for all the shit we’ve dealt with as fans. It isn’t an easy life. But such is the way of progress. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened. Prison for Brandon.
The Armchair Experts 
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