CRY EAGLES CRYYYYYYYYYYYY. FUCK YOU NICK SIRIANNI, YOU DESERVE To LOSE COWARD!!!
What joy I had last night watching Phillydelphia dreams fall apart in real-time. It’s even sweeter that they lost on a “controversial” holding call leaving them feeling robbed. They’ll forever be wondering what their offense could’ve done with the ball, and I’ll forever be laughing. Nobody deserved this gut-wrenching loss more than the most annoying coach of all time Nick Siracha.
In my humble opinion, it’s officially time to call Patrick Mahomes the GOAT. There just ain’t anyone better, and I don’t think there ever has been. The guy just refuses to suck, or disappoint, or let #ChiefsKingdom down, even on just two legs (again, the third has an ankle sprain). Patty was basically flawless in the second half. He probably would’ve had a perfect first half too, had he ever been on the fucking field. God, watching the Eagle’s slow-burn offense makes me want to stab my face with chopsticks. It was effective, but it should be fucking illegal. If it were up to me, the city of Philadelphia would be banned from even playing in super bowls. If they won the NFC, whoever they beat in the conference championship would be pushed forward to the super bowl.
I will give a small shoutout to former OU quarterback Jalen Hurts. My initial assessment of “dogshit” might have been slightly off. I still think he benefited mightily from the roster composition but there’s no doubt he showed up last night. If he hadn’t shit his pants out of nowhere on that scoop-n-score he might be brooding with the Lombardi in his hands.
Overall I was satisfied with that Super Bowl. We got a back and forth affair with the right team winning in the end. Some will complain about the ending but not me. Was it a hold? Kind of. Should they make that call to decide the game? Probably not. Did it screw over the Eagles, sending their fans into misery and me into elation? Fuck yeah it did. Thank you NFL Referees. Roger Goodell was right: the officiating is the best its ever been. I hope they carry this anti-Eagles momentum into next season and perpetuity. God bless America, God Bless the Super Bowl.
The Armchair Experts 
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