After our brutal defeat at the hands of the 49ers this postseason, I took a few moments to pray, and reflect on my life as a Cowboys fan. Well, “ask and you shall receive,” said God- our prayers have been answered.
The rumor mill is blowing at 100 mph right now and it’s showing no signs of slowing down. Subtweets, Instagram followings, and a lifelong brotherly bond are leading the “Diggs to Dallas” stampede right now. I checked with my own eyes, and it appears Stefon Diggs has unfollowed the Buffalo Bills on Instagram, BUT he follows the Dallas Cowboys. COINCIDENCE? I think NOT! As a journalist, I’m not allowed to believe in coincidence!
Next, I see a few breadcrumbs on my Twitter timeline. “Nothing personal, it’s just business.” Hmmmmmmmmm. Is Diggs telling us that Josh Allen is a bum, and he’d much rather play with Dak “GOAT” Prescott? Sure wouldn’t surprise me. Pairing an elite WR like Diggy Diggs with Ceedee Lamb would basically make us the front runners for the 2023 Super Bowl. Well at least it would if Mike McFatass wasn’t our head coach. I just remembered he fired Kellen Moore because Kellen wanted to “light up the scoreboard” and “have the number 1 offense.” God damn Kellen what a fucking idiot! Thank God we don’t want to do that anymore! Mike probably thinks it would make more sense to trade AWAY Ceedee, so we can focus on running the ball more, much less trying to get another one.
Does Jerry Jones have enough nut left in his sack to pull something like this off? I guess we’ll find out. Both he and the Cowboys need a huge shot of Viagra right now. I have no idea what l’d even be willing to give up for Diggs. I wish Jerry would just bribe the other GMs with hookers and money so we could lowball on a couple of trades. I’d easily accept a hearty 4′ rounder and a sick weekend in Vegas for Mr. Diggs if I was Brandon Bean (Bills GM, bet you guys don’t know that).
The best thing for Dallas right now would be for Diggs to start raising hell and tank his value. Maybe publicly attack some players/members of the Bills organization, or get arrested for a minor crime. Ja Morant has already given out the homework answers for a few of those. We all know once he reunites with his brother Trevon he’ll shape right up again. I can already see the headlines: “Diggs Brothers Lead Dallas to Super Bowl, Rot in Piss Eagles.” We are so back.
I’m already looking forward to next season. Come on home Diggity dig Diggs.
The Armchair Experts 
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