Let’s fucking GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I could not believe my eyes when I opened Twitter to the news that Stephon Gilmore was now a Dallas Cowboy, for the low price of a 5th round pick, nice! I wish we could trade all our 5th round picks for guys of this caliber. Once again, it really just doesn’t seem that hard.
Jerry Jones finally let his old wrinkly balls hang and did something worth a damn. Even if Gilmore isn’t the elite corner he once was, it’s unlikely we’d draft someone just as good or better with the 5th we gave up. I don’t understand why all teams aren’t just more aggressive in trades. I’d rather go out swinging than sit limp dick and run it back with the same guys. Unfortunately, no matter how many trades we make, we can’t cure the true cancer of this team: obesity. As long as that watermelon of an HC is still in charge, I don’t see us hoisting the Lombardi. How can our guys be inspired to play hard for 4 quarters when their leader is gasping for air just by running out of the tunnel (if he can even run)?
My pickle started wiggling a little bit the more I thought about our new secondary. Trevon Diggs, Stephon Gilmore, and Daron Bland at corner, while returning our safety trio of Kearse, Hooker, and Dono Wilson (who we also signed back, nice). That’s a damn good group, especially for a team that is notorious for below-average secondaries. This is got to be the best one I can remember in my lifetime, at least on paper.
Our next two biggest needs are WR and interior DL. I don’t necessarily think Deandre Hopkins is the best fit for us since we have a need for speed, but he’s definitley better than what he got. Why can’t we just piss away another 3rd round pick or something, since that seems to be the market for All-Pros these days. We better nail this draft. It seems like we might go OL with our pick, which is boring but I don’t hate. Elite play in the trenches is the key to victory in the NFL. If we beef up those units, I like our chances.
What a day man, what a fucking day! The question now must be asked: does Jerry Jones read the Armchair Experts? I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I’ve started cyber-bullying him and we get aggressive out of nowhere. He’s clearly feeling the pressure and is starting to hustle a little out of fear. Well, we’ve still got trades to make buddy so I’m not going to stop now. Go get the other Stefon you pruny washed up hag. I know our bean bag HC doesn’t want to “light up the scoreboard” anymore but deep down I know that’s not your style. If our WR core doesn’t improve DRAMATICALLY, we are still fucked, Jerry. Take my advice and let’s go win the goddamn Super Bowl.
Cowboys forever
The Armchair Experts 
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