It brings me great sadness to be writing this blog today. I thought we had it. I thought we fucking had it. The chances at the 6 seed were looking so promising, with a stretch against the Knicks, Mavs (without Luka), Rockets, and Magic coming up. I would say even without Lebron, the Lakers should only drop maybe 1 of those games. Well, thanks to the Big Disappointment, Anthony Davis, we managed to lose 3/4. Way to go big guy, you’re doing the damn thing.
If I were Lebron James, I would cut Anthony Davis immediately. He’s just the fucking worst sometimes. Good enough to give the fanbase hope, only to not give a fuck in the biggest moments, and we’ve got to be just about sick of it. At least if we cut the guy, the Lakers would KNOW they stand no chance and we wouldn’t be left feeling crushed afterward. As basketball legend, Zendaya once said, “expect disappointment, and you’ll never be disappointed.” Thank you for your wise words Zendaya, may they ring through my ears for the rest of this season.
As for the rest of the Lakers? I didn’t expect much else. Malik Beasley did what all good shooters do once they get to Lebron’s team: forget the fundamentals of the game and give a mighty effort to construct Trump’s wall brick by brick. D’Angelo Russell has been fine, if you know what to expect from him. There seems to be a weird group of people with a DLo > Kyrie take, which always makes me chuckle. At least DLo doesn’t blow up teams from the inside, so long as none of the players are having affairs while he’s there. The big bonus so far has been the unbelievabley-white guy Austin Reaves. I’ve never seen someone so pale and milky, but if you can get past that he’s not that bad. He posted a career-high 35 points against the Magic the other day, thank God. If not for him, LA would’ve suffered another loss at the hands of Anthony Davis, who only had like 15 points in a must-win game. I almost poured acid on my eyes so I didn’t have to watch anymore. Mercy blindness.
Basically, it’s going to be really fucking hard to avoid the Play-In at this point. Phoenix is coming up on Wednesday and there’s no way they win that one. I think the schedule takes a nice dip again after that, but I will not be fooled again. I now expect a nice 10-15 points and 8 rebounds from the Lakers “superstar.” If General Reavous doesn’t use the force to score 30+, go ahead and wrap it up. Just remember Zendaya.
Fuck you Anthony Davis, you one-eyebrowed coward.
The Armchair Experts 
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