Wow, what a roller coaster this game was. I thought we were toast when AD laid on the ground for 45 minutes after hurting his ankle, but then he did something I didn’t even know was possible: he persevered. He stayed in that fucking game and delivered exactly what I knew he could. The Finals are officially in our sights.
Somehow, some way, the Los Angeles fucking Lakers are now the 7th seed in the West, one game back from the 6 seed. I was only kind-of sure, not totally sure that this day was gonna come. I wonder how far they are gonna be able to climb now. The Rockets and Jazz are up next on the schedule, and if they lose one of those games, you might as well just blow up the franchise. In my humble yet brilliant opinion, the Lakers should NOT try to move past the 6th seed. If they somehow got up to 5, they’d likely face the Suns in the first round. The Suns aren’t some juggernaut, but there are way better options than KD round 1.
I think catching a team like Memphis or Sacramento in the first round would be ideal. Both of those ball clubs have obvious kryptonites that I beleive the Lakers could expose. Let’s start with Sacramento.
The Kings are historically great on offense which is what has powered them to greatness this season. The problem is, they are ALLERGIC to the other half of the game (defense). I just don’t see how they’re going to go far with the inability to get stops. Lebron and AD would feast on these guys down low (during the game, not sexually). Not to mention, they have almost no real playoff experience. I’m like the 5000th person to say this so it’s not exactly breaking news. I like the Kings, but the Lakers will take them from SacTown to SuckTown. Boom.
Next, we have the Grizzlies. I think we all know what the solution is here: bring strippers to the games. It’s just that simple. As long as we do that, the Grizz will just stop making it rain on the court and start making it rain on their booties. Ja will have absolutely no focus if he sees a hot sexy stripper just shaking her Jupiter-sized ass behind the basket. They also have Dillon Brooks, who thinks he’s Michael Jordan. We can count on him to cost them at least two games.
The game plan from here on out should be to try and get the 6th seed, but NOT the 5th seed. We’ve got to play chess while everyone else plays checkers. Let’s go and beat the Rockets and Jazz the next two games, then lose to the Clippers. Keep up a 2-win, 1-loss pattern to end the season and we should be all set!
How hard can it be?
The Armchair Experts 
Leave a comment