NBA Wednesday Play-In Picks

I’m currently in the middle of watching my Miami Heat pick go up in flames. The Lakers haven’t started yet so that feeling of disapointment will have to come later. I’m so discouraged that I thought about not giving out picks today, but fear not. I am back once again in an incredible display of bravery and heroism. I will not rest until I have another undefeated week. And even after that, I will not rest because all my winnings will immediately go back to more picks.

Bulls +5 @ Toronto

• Ah the Bulls. Yet another team that I’m always on the wrong fucking side of. I’m picking these guys for one reason and one reason only: Patrick Beverly aka the “Play-In Price.” We’re coming up on the one year anniversery of his spectacular celebration from winning the play-in last year. If he brings that same championship mentality this year the Bulls will be unbeatable. Anything is possible, and I beleive in you Patrick.

Thunder +5.5 @ New Orleans

• The New Orleans Pelicans without Zion are a crime against humanity. They are disgusting to watch and I will never pick them. I can smell the Brandon Ingram “I got this” vibes all over this game. I have a personal vendetta against the Thunder (and always have) so it feels like I’m betraying myself with this pick. However, I am a fucking rat who will do anything to make a buck, and if pissing away all my morals and principles is what it takes then so be it. Sometimes it takes a scumbag to win it all.

Jalen Williams O15.5 Points (-118)

• I can’t believe I’m making this fucking bet. I coined the term “JScrub” several weeks ago and I’ve stuck by it ever since. One of my favorite pastimes is telling Thunder Twitter that this guy is trash. I am once again betraying everything I hold dear and true. I hope none of the trolls read this blog because they will make me eat my Twitter words. HOWEVER, if this motherfucker does not cash this bet, I will unleash hell on OKC Twitter. He will forever be JScrub and I will not ever give him an ounce of respect. The pressure is officially on.

I’m already 0-1 on Tuesday’s picks. We need some positive vibes going into tomorrow. Go Bulls, Thunder, and Scrub.