Final NBA Play In Picks

The moment we’ve all been waiting for. This has been an up-and-down week for me to say the least. Once again, I was on the wrong side of the Atlanta Hawks. The Lakers and ADisappointment let me down (shocker). I thought I was horribly wrong on the Bulls yet again before they stormed back to cash me out. Then, I inexplicably pick OKC and they cover, but JScrub fumbles the bag. What a week! I can’t wait to get in line for another roller coaster Friday. I sure do love gambling.

Bulls +5.5 (-110) @ Miami

• The Bulls have been one of my kryptonite teams this year. I almost feel like I’m picking them now out of gratitude for their heroic efforts on Wednesday. I was raised right and my parents taught me loyalty as a child. They had my back, and I will now ride with them to the bitter end. On the road, in the hot stinky Cuban streets of Miami, underdogs in a foreign land. I gamble with my heart, always have. I’m with you Chicago. I’m with you more than Obama ever was.

Thunder +5.5 (-112) @ Minnesota

• Am I really doing this shit again? I DESPISE the OKC Thunder. Yet here I am, picking them in back2back games. I guess the only explanation is that I hate Rudy Gobert more. I know he’s not even playing in this game because he’s a coward, and the French literally surrender in every war. I’d rather have a massage therapist rub a cheesegrater on my nutsack than put money on a team that has Rudy Gobert. The NBA isn’t going to catch me lacking. I think we all know the moral of the story here: never trust the French.

DeMar Derozan O22.5 (-113)

• If I’m riding with the Bulls, I gotta ride with the OG. There is no way the guy with the coolest name in the league is letting me down. He’s as old faithful as they come. I like it when my bets correlate, and if the Bulls are gonna pull this out, Mr. Comp10 is going to have to step the fuck up. Cmon cmon.

Jalen Williams O15.5 (+100)

• THAT’S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS. I’m back with the same fucking bet!! I hate Jalen Williams’ guts right now, but here I am back in his fucking corner. The trick here is to fade my hatred. It has been proven repeatedly that love is more powerful than hate. Well, I love to hate things. If we follow that logic, since I hate this fucking guy and the fact that he screwed me last time, it means I love his chances to do me right this time. Let’s fucking go Jalen you son of a bitch! I fucking hate you, so on Friday I fucking love you!!!!

Can we have our first ever 4-0 day? Yes we can. Will we? Probably not.