I did not make it home to put my reputation and money on the line for the Heat/Knicks game. That does not mean my addiction to hemorrhaging money and happiness is gonna stop tonight so I’m pressing forward with the night game. I was one Anthony Davis point away from hitting a super mega whale parlay on Saturday so he is officially ADead to me now. I think Anthony personally sabotaged my bet as revenge for all the mean things I said to him in the last blog. Well played Anthony. I almost hate you as much as Aaron Rodgers hates being sober now. I don’t think you’re ready for that kind of hate.
Anthony Davis Over 24.5 Points
- This might seem contradictory to the above paragraph. While I do hate ADickhead right now, I have a sneaking suspicion that he will finally have a second good game in a row tonight. A lot of people have figured out his stupid suck pattern so they’re leaning on the under. If I know Anthony like I think I do, he is looking forward to putting a massive dent in people’s wallets. There’s nothing he loves more than disappointing the public, and ironically he’s going to do that with a strong performance tonight.
Lebron James Over 5.5 Assists
- This was one of the bets in my mega whale parlay, and it was the easiest cash of the night. Lebron clearly doesn’t trust his foot and has been load managing during the games. He has to pick and choose when to be aggressibe scoring the ball, which means he takes on the facilitator role for long stretches. As long as the boys knock down their shots like they did in game 3 (they probably will not) then this will be another easy cash. I know I can always count on my GOAT.
Steph Curry Under 31.5 Points
- Why is this line so fucking high? He hasn’t even cracked 30 points yet this series, but this is the second game in a row his line is above that mark. I guess Vegas is just expecting him to go off at some point so their juicing the line hoping everyone takes the under. That is a shrewd Vegas move and I don’t like being on the opposite side of it, but the Warriors are doo-doo on the road. I’m hoping and praying for another blowout tonight so we can watch Curry ride the pine for the entire 4th quarter.
Rui Hachimura Over 8.5 Points
- This feels low. I’m taking this out of disdain for the disrespect to my boy Rui. His minutes have been fluctuating a little which is scary, but I love being scared. If Rui gets it going then this is going to be eassssyyyy (I just jinxed myself).
Austin Reaves Over 13.5 Points
- White Magic has been in a bit of a slump recently. I don’ expect DLo to have it going like he did in game 3 since he’s the most inconsistent motherfucker ever. That’s why I’m pivoting to Casper the Ghost lookalike Austin Reaves for a nice bounce back game. We just need a couple of those patented bullshit fouls and get 90% of this total at the free throw line. Scott Foster is the head honcho tonight so I’m hoping he has a little soft spot for the white guy.
Lakers -2
- Really putting my nuts on the line with this one. I thought the Warriors had this series after game 2 but now I don’t know what to think. Maybe they really do just suck ass on the road and are incapable of winning one against a quality team. Then again, they did win in Sacramento so that pokes a pretty big hole in that theory. The good news is: I never liked theory class anyway. I’m all about reality. The reality is I fucking hate the Warriors and will never put my sweet cash on them ever in my entire life. Let’s get it done tonight Lakers.
A same game parlay with all those bets gives +2288 odds. I’m not here to give financial advice but I would definitely recommend taking that. This blog is quickly becoming a get-rich-quick scheme.
The Armchair Experts 
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