Any NBA Finals without Lebron is barely worth watching, but since I’m a better person than the average man/woman I decided to flick on ABC and sit on my favorite couch for a couple hours. What I witnessed and realized tonight was apalling: the Denver Nuggets will be our 2023 NBA Champions.
As of May 2023, I am the #1 Nuggets hater in the world. I fucking despise this team, and their unnatural ability to make shots at the most convenient time imaginable. I would very much like to see them lose, and specifically watch Jamal Murray flame out in embarassing fashion. I reached deep back into my closet to snag my old Miami Heat gear from my time being a fan of that franchise from 2011-2014. Embarassing moment for me when it still fit.
Unfortunately for me, I had to sit and watch the same bullshit tonight that I saw during the Laker series. Several times it looked like Miami was gearing up for a nice little comeback run, and immediately it was shot down by a Kentavious Caldwell-Pope or Michael Porter Jr. 3. If it wasn’t one of those, it was an unbelievably unathletic looking turnound shot from Jokic. His uncanncy ability to make scoring the ball look as difficult as possible but always go in never ceases to amaze me. God only blessed me with the anti-athleticism and negative muscle tone, but not the shot-making ability. He does sling some pretty slick passes though, and I always find myself muttering “did you see that” to myself.
I don’t have a lot of faith in the Heat because their entire roster went undrafted, like myself. When Duncan “Jimmy Neutron” Robinson is like your 3rd best guy you might be in a little trouble at this stage of the season. Especially when KCP turns into Ray Allen out of nowhere on the other side. I miss the old KCP- the one that wore an ankle monitor and forgot how to play basketball when he was with Lebron. It sure is nice to see a superstar have role players he can count on. Jokic doesn’t have anyone forgetting the score with a few seconds left because he simply wills them to be smarter. That’s the kind of killer instinct the Lakers were missing this year.
Never count out Playoff Jimmy but this one might be over quick. I at least hope the final game is in South Beach so we can get 1 more KCP ankle monitor game at the start of next season. Chicken Nuggets in 5 (or 6). Also fuck Rudy Gobert.
The Armchair Experts 
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