As you all know, the Oklahoma Sooners and the Texas University Longhorns have left for the SEC. I’ve been against this move since it happened due to the death of tradition and rivalries that we forged over decades in the Big 12 but whatever. No one is here to read my bitching (if anyone is here at all) so let’s just talk about the cool things for this schedule.
Alabama @ Oklahoma
- Welp, the Crimson Tide are coming to Norman. While not a rivaly, I’ve hated Alabama ever since I was a kid. I can’t stand Nick Saban’s reign of terror and it would be nice to see that angry little man storm out of the Palace with an L on his back. I’m still mad about 2018 when he bounced fellow little man Kyler Murray out of the CFB Playoff. It’s just bullshit having to face a team that has multiple 5 star recruits at every position. Nick Saban: recruiting merchant? I’d like to see what he can do with a couple top 15 classes vs. top 3. Probably NOTHING.
Tennessee @ Oklahoma
- The prodigal son returns. For those who don’t know, Josh Huepel was the last QB to win a natty for OU. The Vols were actually good last year for the first time in my life. I guess we’ll find out this year whether or not JH is a one-hit wonder or not. There seems to be some hype around Joe Milton (not sure why) but if they’re good again this year, we’re looking at another big matchup in Norman. I Volunteer to show my face at this game. That was pretty corny.
Oklahoma @ LSU
- Now THIS is a game that makes my pickle wiggle a little bit. I’ve never been to Death Valley, but I’ve heard the stories. I don’t kneax if there is anything that will stop me from sheauxing my face around Baton Rouge that weekend. Please God, if you do exist then you WILL make this a night game. You have to do everything you can to make my first experience there thrilling. I’m also asking for an OU W to geaux along with that black sky. Jackson Arnold should be the OU Quarterback at this time so I’m not saying it’s out of the realm of possibility. These are the games that could make me fall in love with the SEC.
Oklahoma @ Ole Miss
- Lane Kiffin, the Grove, and the Sooners. Sounds like a recipe for a solid Saturday. Ole Miss is pretty overated most of the time and OU has absolutely no history with them. This could be a Jeff Lebby revenge game so I guess we have that to look forward to. I wonder if they will qualify as our new Kansas State. A team that’s always just kind of okay but for some reason we just can’t fucking beat them consistently even when we should. I could definitely seeing the Lane Train filling that void (no offense to Nick Saban’s daughter).
Oklahoma @ Auburn
- Jesus this is a hard-ass schedule. Any of these teams could be title contenders on the right year and we’ve got 4 of them in 1 fucking season. I really hope we can string together another top 5 recruting class this offseason cuz Got Damn we’re gonna need it. I don’t know shit about the state of Auburn’s program this year and even less about next year. I know that somehow every 6 years or so they come out of nowhere and end up in the Natty. They haven’t done it in the CFP era, so I’m sure waiting for OU to join the conference is the perfect time to break out again. Regardless, I hope we beat the shit out of this two-mascot having clown school.
OU/TX
- Ah yes, the crem de la crem of college football. OUTX weekend. Of course this year, we are technically the “home” team so that means one less game for us at the palace. Regardless, this game is always a fucking dog fight. It doesn’t matter if one of these teams suck that year, they both get up for this fucking game. We hate Texas and they hate us. They’ve been a dumpster fire for over a decade and boy do I hope that continues. They almost never let me down. I’m sure after winning the same amount of Big 12 titles as Baylor and TCU they’ll come right it and hang an SEC banner immediately. Georgia and Bama are simply little brothers to these guys. Fuck Texas, and I hope we curb stomp that program into oblivion. Give them the death penalty.
Those are the biggest games for 2024. I’m not going over the boring games so if you’re looking for that go read 247 or some bullshit. I’m calling it now, the Sooners are going undefeated in year 1. JFA is coming and will finally be the guy to lead us back to the promise land. For this year (2023) I have no idea what to expect. Dillon Gabriel is fine, not great so it’s hard to expect we’ll be competing for championships, but maybe a Big 12? We did lose half our games by 1 score or less last season so maybe some variance will play in our favor for once. All I know is I’m slowly getting more and more hyped about football season. I’ve missed it dearly, and counting down the days is the only thing getting me through the dead season. Just a few months longer boys…
The Armchair Experts 
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