The Phoenix Suns have made another trade. After acquiring Kevin Durant mid-season this year, they’ve immediately turned around and traded for another star. Heroic playoff performer Bradley Beal is the newest member of the Suns big 4 (if you count Deandre Ayton). Phoenix is infected head to toe with new owner syndrome. They haven’t stopped making crazy trades since Matt Ishbia bought the team in December. Also remember when he almost got in a fight with Jokic? That was pretty crazy. Let’s take a look and see if adding RealDealBeal gives these guys an actual shot at an NBA title.
Phoenix lost in 6 this year to Denver. Some might say going to 6 games means they put up a better fight than the Lakers (who lost in the closest sweep ever) but I’m not so sure. They won 2 fluky games where KD and Booker combined for like 80+ points on 80% shooting for 2 games. I don’t know the exact stats but they basically didn’t miss a shot for 2 games. I don’t think that fraudulent shooting means they deserve more credit than LA. However that is not the point of this article. To acquire Mr. Beal, Phoenix had to give up 38 year old Chris Paul and future Hall of Famer Landry Shamet. Jesus what a haul. While it’s obvious Washington cashed out big time for their All-Star, would this guy have made a difference for PHX in the playoffs? I’m not so sure.
Ever heard the phrase “there’s only one ball” ?. Well, I’m not going to say that here, because since 2017 you could have described every single Kevin Durant team that way. First the Warriors (fuck you for that KD), Kyrie-Harden trio in Brooklyn, and now this weird Suns team. Can this guy just once play on a normal fucking roster? It’s getting to a point where we have no idea how to evaluate how impactful or good he actual is since he’s always got multiple all-stars but everyone gets hurt and they never actually win. Bradley Beal really doesn’t add much to a team besides scoring. He’s not an eltite defender or playmaker, and he isn’t exactly known for his savvy off-ball movement. How is this going to turn out any different than Brooklyn? Booker is probably better than Kyrie and Harden at this point, but he needs the ball too. Let’s also not forget that their entire bench will be made up of guys at the local YMCA in Scottsdale. Let’s also not forget that Bradley Beal hasn’t played in more than 60 games since 2019. Let’s ALSO not forget that Bradley Beal is making $50+ million over the next FOUR (4!) years. This sounds like a recipe for success.
This article is trending towards getting mean, but I don’t want it to. I like Bradley Beal. He’s a Florida Gator, so I’ll always have a soft spot for him there. When I was a wee little boy I always enjoyed watching him and John Wall tear it up in the golden days of the NBA. The problem is, I can’t think of one memorable playoff moment for him. Have they done anything since 2016 or since John Wall got hurt (which also might have been 2016)? Nope. Phoenix better hope he doesn’t bring that dirty Washington stench to the team. I don’t know if any great player is capable of overcoming that.
The good news for Phoenix: they practically gave up nothing. Chris Paul is right on the edge of “washed” and 99% of people in America have never heard of Landry Shamet so I think they’re okay there. It’s pretty hilarious that Washington decided to make this trade and start taking the draft AFTER Wemby is coming through (even though he’ll be a BUST). I can’t really blame the Suns for taking a flyer on Beal for such a low price. I find it hard to believe no one else had something better but I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s the fucking Wizards. They’re continuing an unprecedented 40 year run of torturing the shit out of their fans. Consider me impressed.
I guess I wrote a lot of words to not even come to a conclusion here. My offical prediction is that either Beal or KD will get hurt at a bad time and sadly lose in the playoffs yet again. I can’t say that thought upsets me too much. KD is still paying his penance for ruining the NBA for several years and costing Lebron multiple rings. We will never forgive you Kevin. The only way to reverse your curse would be to sign with the Lakers for the vet minimum and bring back those rings that you stole. You’re in desparate need of a redemption arc.
Can’t wait for the 2023 season.
The Armchair Experts 
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