Pitbull’s favorite football team had a pretty solid 2022. They unveiled first-time head coach and notorious stoner-boy, Mike McDaniel, to the world for the first time. For the most part he did not disappoint as the Dolphins deployed one of the most explosive offenses in the NFL. There were some inconsistincies along the way, but it’s pretty easy to chalk that up to several CTE-inducing injuries to Tua over the course of the season. I have a feeling that will be the overarching storyline for these guys yet again.
We might as well start with the elephant in the room: is Tua’s brain going to work for a full season? It’s pretty scary to imagine the guy trotting back out there after all the shit that happened to him last year. The word on the street was he seriously considered retirement this offseason and I don’t blame him. Even giving at it at least a year long break would have been nice. I hope he’s able to stay healthy 1. so he doesn’t die and 2. so everyone can enjoy the Dolphins lighting up the scorebard every Sunday. I don’t even think Tua is an elite-level QB, he’s honestly kind of mid. However, he’s certainly better than whoever their backup is and does a ncie job of hitting the two fastest players in the NFL on slant routes with solid consistency. As it turns out, assembling an offense full of dudes that can just outrun everybody is pretty damn effective. Mike McDaniel is the king of smarter not harder.
The Dolphins defense is also full of playmakers. Xavien Howard has been one of the best corners in the NFL for quite a while now. Now they’re pairing him with super-diva Jalen Ramsey. Remember when all they had to trade for a 1st team all-pro CB was a 3rd round pick (still fuck you Jerry Jones). They also added Bradley Chubb midseason last year and have other young studs like Jaelen Phillips on the defensive line. Pair that with some solid coaching (no idea who their DC is) and you’ve got the makings of a top 10 defense. Pair that defense with that offense and you’ve got the makings of a Super Bowl contender.
For the first time in my life the AFC East is extremely exciting. Also, ironically, the only team that I don’t think has a chance of winning it is the New England Patriots. The Jets, Dolphins, and Bills all have a chance to make the playoffs in 2023. It’s a lame and boring take, but really the Dolphins season is just gonna come down to Tua’s brain. As long as that doesn’t break they have a pretty high ceiling. I guess you could say that about literally every team in the league, but at least there’s actual history here so fuck you. I’ll be rooting for the Dolphins because they certainly make fantasy football a lot more exciting. I know anyone investing in Tyreek Hill or Jaylen Waddle this season is very much hoping for a happy healthy Tua.
2023 Record: 11-6
2nd :Place in AFC East
The Armchair Experts 
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