I’ve always had a soft spot for the Oakland Las Vegas Raiders. For one, they have the second-best uniforms in the NFL (behind the Cowboys of course). The silver and black absolutley FUCKS- you just can’t beat it (except for the Cowboys of course). The problem is, the actual team on the field wearing the uniforms haven’t fucked in quite some time. In fact, one could even make the case they seem to be re-virginalizing. Part of the problem is they share a division with the best QB that’s ever lived, and part of it is them being one of the worst run franchises of the last 20 years. Derek Carr was good but never quite the guy, and outside of him it’s been an absolute dumpster fire. The best move they’ve ever made (that I can remember) was bringing in camera-man respecter, Davante Adams. Pretty hard to miss with that guy but even he could only do so much. Let’s see if they can bounce back this year (the answer is no).
Derek Carr has officially been shipped out and replaced with supermodel Jimmy Garappolo. Will his handsomeness be enough to level-up the Raiders offense and finally make them worth a shit? Probably not. Even with Davante Adams I don’t think these guys have what it takes to make a deep playoff run. We also can’t forget to add the Josh Jacobs drama to the mix. All the running backs are quite upset with the NFL right now because teams (finally) are refusing to overpay for that position. It does suck that these guys might not get their money but it simply doesn’t make sense anymore. This is classic freshman year of college economics: supply > demand so price = down. I also strongly believe that offensive lines are much more responsible for a running game’s success than the runner himself. Sure, a great RB can be exciting to watch and add explosive plays, but there’s no evidence that you even need one to win a Super Bowl. All the recent NFL Champs have had small RB payrolls and no superstars in the backfield. It’s a passing league now (has been for a while), and even the toddler minds of NFL front offices have caught up a little bit.
The Raiders defense remains a mystery to me. They got put in a pretty tough spot when Jon Gruden took over and horribly missed on every draft selection he ever took. Remember that one time he had 3 first round picks and took Clelin Ferrel (trash), Josh Jacobs (running back), Jonathan Abram (worst safety in the league)? He then followed that up with 1st round CB Damon Arnette (felon) the very next year. Pretty hard to build a willing foundation for your roster when you go 0/4 just in the first round. Amazingly enough, they did land Mad Maxx Crosby in the 4th round of 2019, who is about the only player worth a fuck for them right now. Still, one pass rusher isn’t really enough to get the job done.
I feel bad for the black hole because that conman Gruden didn’t give them any good memories and now they’re still fucked after him. I also have 0 faith in Josh McDaniels who has been a complete failure whenever Daddy Belicheck isn’t holding his leash. I’m sorry Raiders fans, if I had the power to change things I definitely would. Unless the Broncos send out the worst offense of all time again with Gus Fring at the helm then I’m pretty sure they’ll finish last in the division. That division is just too fucking strong with Mahomes and Herbert taking up all the space at the top. Get well soon Raiders fans, you will be in my prayers.
2023 Record: 5-12
Last Place in AFC West
The Armchair Experts 
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