Oh the dirty dirty LA Chargers. The former pride of San Diego tragically decided to move to the nasty streets of Los Angeles where absolutely nobody cares about this fucking team. I’ll neevr understand why teams decide to betray their hometown cities and loyal fanbases for the most oversaturated sports market in the entire world (looking at you too “LA” Rams) but owners just seem to love doing that dumb shit. Now they get to play in SoFi Stadium every sunday where 200 fans show up to watch Tik Tok in the stands. If the Chargers didn’t have an electric quarterback (no pun intended) and arguably the best uniforms in the league then they’d be the most despicable franchise in the sport.
Let’s start with the electric QB I alluded to above. Justin Herbert is 50% cyborg, 20% frat boy, 20% socially awkward introvert, and 10% fraud. Even Stevie Wonder could see his talent on the field but it’s hard to understand why the guy never wins anything. I don’t necessarily believe wins are a QB stat because I’m not stupid but it’s not like he’s just been on shitty teams with no help. If I was gonna start glazing him on Twitter I’d say his receivers are injury-prone and he was taking calls from one of the most moronic offensive coordinators ever. Still don’t understand how he managed to turn the guy with a bazooka attached to his shoulder into a check-down charlie. Regardless, this year should be an interesting test for Herbert’s social media narrative going forward. The NFL nerds always talk about his “processing” and ability to read defenses. Obviously I’m not a fucking dork who sits and watches the all-22 so I don’t have a great feel for QBs control at the line of scrimmage. Justin Herbert is a highlight reel machine and we deserve to see him launch that fucking football down the field into tight windows like a grown ass man. Hopefully Kellen Moore doesn’t neuter him again.
The Chargers drafted TCU Horned-fraud WR Quentin Johnston with their first round pick in 2023. The Chargers now have 3 talented WRs with Keenan and Mikey Dub on the other sides. I don’t really believe QJ is actually all that good but having a trio of talent like that benefits everyone. I expect the offense to take a leap this season. Herbert better give everything he has in an attempt to break the passing record this season. If I was Kellen Moore I’d be bombs away air raid on every defense that came my way. Consequences be damned.
San Diego Los Angeles also employs a defense with tons of playmakers. They’ve got one of the best safeties in the league in Derwin James. Then of course there’s All-American good boy Joey Bosa. Not many players you can say have a chance at a political career once they’re finished in the league. Good for you Joey. The corpse of Khalil Mack is also still rumbling around out there on the defense. One of my favorite players as a kid seems to be running on fumes these days but I bet it still feels cool to say you have Khalil Mack on your defense. They did underperform last season, which is weird because Brandon “bitch-boy” Staley is supposed to be a defensive guru. So far the only thing he seems good at are some pretty sus hip-thrusts before kickoff.
Good luck to Chargers fans this season, not sure how y’all do it. The best thing I can say about this team is they’ve got solid fantasy output from their RB Austin Ekeler. Not everyone can claim they’ve had the RB1 (even if he is a boring ass checkdown merchant) so congrats to the Chargers fans. Let’s see if they can keep it up in 2023.
The Armchair Experts 
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