The days of Tompa Bay are officially over. The Hall of Fame ken doll finally walked away from the game (for the second time) back on February 1st (again). He was pretty ass last year but I’m still expecting the drop off to Baker Mayfield and/or Kyle Trask to be pretty spectacular. Baker has been one of the worst QBs in the whole league for a couple years and I haven’t seen Trask play since Florida. Sure seems like they’re primed for a great year!
The Bucs offense makes me want to carve out my eyeballs and throw them in a blender. Even with the “goat” taking snaps and two solid WRs they just couldn’t move the fucking ball. If Russell Wilson wasn’t in the league then it would’ve been the most pathetic offense I’ve ever seen. Everything was a fucking check down and we knew they were terrible going into the playoffs. Thank God the Cowboys were able to expose them with an absolute ass beating in one the best games of the year (before it all fell apart, sad). Mike Evans still managed to pull 1000 yards out of his ass but it was far from a dominant year. Godwin was coming back from an ACL so it makes sense he wouldn’t be as good as his history shows. Playoff Lenny didn’t do much and I’m pretty sure he’s still a free agent at the moment so I guess that says a lot about where he’s at in his career. Is Rachaad White supposed to be good? I cannot fucking decide if I want to draft him in fantasy. I didn’t even know he was a 3rd round pick but it’s impossible to see any light in that dreadful fucking offense. I highly doubt Baker or Trask is gonna turn this guy into a top tier back, but I guess we’ll see. Todd Bowls the most boring man in football sure doesn’t have my vote of confidence.
The Bucs defense has enough talent to be solid, but it’s hard for them to hold up when the offense moves with the pace of a 90 year old war veteran. Vita Vea is still a big ole fuck who clogs up all the holes on the d-line. Lavonte David and Antoine Winfield are legit playmakers. Devin White continues to be the most overrated linebacker in football. His constant athleticism wow people and puts the blinders on when he misses run assignments and blows simple coverages. Pro football focus absolutely fucking hates Devin White and considering how much people glaze their stupid ass grades I’m surprised everyone still likes him. Regardless, the D could use a massive boost from the O and I highly doubt that’s coming this season. I’d definitely give up if I were them. Hard to go out and give effort for a limp dick offense. I guess the only solution is to load em up on some Viagra.
The combination of dead offense + fine defense + bad head coach is not a recipe for a succesful season. The only weird part is they might actually have a shot at the division title because of how fucking BAD it is. Are the Saints supposed to be good? The Panthers? The Falcons? All of them either have shit or rookie quarterbacks. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if they NFC South puts a team with a losing record in the playoffs. I’m getting closer and closer to placing a bet on Bryce Young to get the job done. I sure as hell don’t believe in Desmond fucking Ridder. This is the closest thing we have to MACtion in the NFL. Thank the Lord Dallas only plays the Panthers this year so I won’t be forced to watch these dirtbags. Good luck to Steven Cheah’s mental health this year. Can’t wait for that piece of shit Tom Brady to come back and save the day.
The Armchair Experts 
Leave a comment