I’m a little late to the gambling stage of NFL season. I’ve missed weeks 1 and 2 but that can only mean that I’m bringing Thor’s hammer to hit this season HARD every week for the next 18 weeks (give or take). Lucky for me I get to start of with the 49ers and the New Jersey Giants on a primetime TNF. I’m sure this one will be an absolute doozy. Read the expert picks below backed by science if you want to become a millionare in 2023 (this is not financial advice).
Christian McCaffrey O30.5 Receiving yards (-113)
- So, run CMC has yet to eclipse this mark in 2023 and in fact, he hasn’t even gotten close. The problem here is I’m playing against Christian in fantasy this week. That can only mean one thing: he’s gonna drop an Oppenheimer. I bet he’ll have 30+ fantasy points and to do that he’ll probably secure about 5 catches for like 50/60 yards right in my face. I had him last year and it was glorious, but now it’s time to accept that I’m not his daddy anymore.
Daniel Jones O39.5 Rushing yards (-113)
- It sucks but it kind of feels like people have caught on to the fact that Daniel Jones has legs. He may be a horrific passer but he runs like a damn gazelle. After he inevitably throws multiple picks in this game he’ll turn to his wheels and pick up some rushing yards to stat-pad in OT. I’m quite familiar with your game Danny.
Daniel Jones to throw an interception: YES (-102)
- I can’t believe I’m almost getting this at even odds. It’s almost impossible for Dimes to play in an NFL game and NOT turn the ball over. I guess there’s a chance he just coughs the rock up like he normally does, but I won’t even flinch when he tosses a nice completion to the 49ers. I’ll never forget how much love and respect this guy got over 1 bullshit season. Fuck you NFL media.
New York Giants +10.5 (-118)
- I know I’ve spent 80% of this blog making fun of Daniel Jones and the Giants but we have to remember this is a Thursday Night Football game. Shit just never looks right on Thursdays. It does make me slightly physically ill to place my hard earned wages on Daniel fucking Jones but I’m going with my gut here. The 49ers SHOULD dismantle this team right in front of America for the 2nd time in 3 weeks but like I said it just gets weird sometimes. They don’t even have Saquon Barkley which also makes me question why this line is so low to begin with. It feels like it should be 12 or 13+ but they’re only laying a cool 10. Something smells fishy here Vegas and I’m catching on to you sneaky mother fuckers.
Take those bets. Or don’t take them. I really don’t care, because I know my financially sound principles applied across an entire season will make me enough money to go to Five Guy’s not once, but TWICE (probably). Even Bill Gates wouldn’t attempt a financial feat like that. Good luck to me and my 2 followers this season.
The Armchair Experts 
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