I disappointed myself in week 3. Looks like I’m starting my season 2-3 after disaster struck me right in the face. Minnesota absolutely blew it on a last-second play, Arthur Smith still belongs in prison, and the Howellitzer ran out of bullets almost immediately. The good news is I was ALL over the Dolphins beating the piss out of Denver with perfect analysis (70-20 remember that?) and struck gold with the longshot Houston ML play. I corretly had the Jags at the top of my fraud watch and will soon begin my Trevor Lawrence bust campaign if this continues. Unfortunately I also traded for Calvin Ridley this week right before the London game so that’s just fantastic. Looking like another loss in the fantasy world, but I can guarantee it’ll be nothing but Ws on my FanDuel account. Week 4 beware.
Miami Dolphins +3 @ Buffalo
- Why not ride the Dolphins until they betray me? They’re clearly winning the September Super Bowl and I won’t hop off this bandwagon until Mike McDaniels literally burns the wheels off. Vegas is essentially saying this is a pick em following the + point home rule. Normally I’d fade the Dolphins candy-ass uniforms up in the North but it’s still warm outside in New York so the speed will be blazing per usual. TuAnon is peaking right now, expect us.
Houston Texas +3 vs. Pittsburgh
- I do not understand this line at all. The Texans are GETTING 3 points at home to the scoreless Steelers right after a huge win against the Jags?? The StroudBoys are hootin’ and hollerin’ after seeing this line. I guess I’ll keep buying stock in this team while it’s low.
LA Chargers -4.5 vs. Las Vegas
- As a not so proud Josh Jacobs fantasy owner, I can confirm that the Raiders: not good. In fact, they are QUITE bad. Now, my only fear here is the new QB game. NFL Hotboy Jimmy G is still in concussion protocol and it’s unclear whether he’ll play at this point. I would just like to say I reserve the right to mulligan this game if Aidan O’Connell plays. He’s a rookie and will likely be bad eventually but he’s exactly the type of guy that can come in and light it up for 1 week because he doesn’t know any better. Still, fuck you Vegas for turning Josh Jacobs into a nothing.
CJ Stroud O1.5 Passing TDs (+134)
- Shoutout to all my StroudBoys out there, this one is for you. Other than TJ Watt and Minkah Fitzpatrick, I think the Steelers D is totally overrated. CJ actually has nice weapons in Tank Dell and Nico Collins so I’m hoping for another exciting passing attack here.
Jacksonville Jaguars -3 vs. Atlanta (London Game)
- I’m such a flip-flopping motherfucker. I faded the Jags hard last week and was rewarded handsomly, but now I’m back in the sack with them. As you may know I think Arthur Smith has a special place in Hell for his crimes in the NFL and I will never budge on that. Even in London he is a disgraceful monster and I will never bet on him to do anything cool except have a mustache. I’m back on Trevor Lawrence to win the chin-bowl.
The haters are sick and furious right now. Praying for an undefeated week to make up for my embarassing picks last week. Shoutout to myself for that Houston ML call.
The Armchair Experts 
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