God I’m fucking hot. I went 4-1 on my last Sunday locks post and like a teenage girl in a school zone I don’t show any signs of slowing down. Thursday Night Football in week 6 features the Broncos and the Chiefs. It’s a sick fucking joke that Roger Goodell put Russell Wilson on primetime for the entire nation to see but he has always been a worse man than Satan. Spoiler alert I will be fading the fuck out of Russ and rooting for a Chiefs blowout allll night long.
Kansas City -10.5 vs. Denver (-110)
- For anyone who can’t read I pretty much already told you who I’d be riding with tomorrow. The Broncos defense might be the worst in the league and their offense is basically impotent. Their offense is basically a cock shooting blanks. Nice job Shawn Peyton.
Isiah Pacheco O13.5 Receiving Yards (-114)
- I wanna take everyone on the Chief’s over on this game because of the pathetic Broncos D. I’m pretty much banking on him catching one screen pass and breaking away or something. Everyone elses lines are juiced as hell and 13.5 is low enough for me to jump on it. Don’t fuck me here Pacheco.
Travis Kelce O6.5 Receptions (+102)
- I don’t like betting on a TEs yards so I migh as well go with catches here. Mr. Taylor Swift’s odds to catch a touchdown are juiced as fuck too. I wouldn’t mind parlaying this with an anytime TD bet so I guess we’ll see how ballsy I start feeling tomorrow night. Maybe a few brews in my tummy will get my trigger finger itching (that’s a metaphorical trigger finger).
Chiefs O29.5 (-102)
- This total is way too high and I actually hate it but I just have to keep with the theme of riding the Chiefs here. They might end up getting too far ahead and just start running the ball like some cowards but I guess I’ll just have to live with that reality. I must emphatically reiterate that I will NEVER put my money in the hands of Russell Wilson.
Chiefs Defense to score a TD (+490)
- It’s kind of hilarious that the odds are this low. Broncos D to score is +2300. Vegas is telling all of America that their offense sucks a whole lot of ass. Might as well throw one hail mairy play in there even if this really is only like a 40 yard first down.
I guess that settles it. We ride with Chiefs Kingdom at dawn. See you losers on the other side of a 4-0 Thursday night.
The Armchair Experts 
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