Thursday Night Football Locks of the Century

For once we actually have a decent TNF Game. The Jags and Saints aren’t great but at leas there are entertaining athletes on both teams that could possibly keep out eyes attended to the TV for one fucking Thursday. Of course, that probably means we’ll get treated to a 10-7 game since we can’t have anything nice but at least we can be false excited! I have a few picks that are 100% guaranteed to win money and if they lose then it basically doesn’t count so let’s get it.

“Trevor Lawrence will start Thursday vs. Saints” pic.twitter.com/yLEuy5KDbu

— Drew (@ndy_willis) October 17, 2023

Jacksonville Jaguars +1.5 @ New Orleans (-118)

• I have been one flip flopping mother fucker when it comes to the Jags. They still sit atop my fraud watch but there’s an interesting thing going on with the Saints: they fucking SUCK at home. Since when is playing in front of WhoDat Nation at the Superdome a bad thing? I guess that’s where we are now in 2023. I hope the Jag’s candy-ass uniforms don’t come back to bite me. This bet does not count if Trevor Lawrence ends up being OUT.

Alvin Kamara to Score a TD (+130)

• This is one of those bets that you can kind of just plug in every week. AK is a touch monster (not in a pedo way) so he’s always a good bet to find the end zone. He may or may not be past his prime but that’s why the NFL gave him 3 weeks off to start the season- always lookin’ out for the good guys.

Calvin Ridley 80+ alt receiving yards (+250)

• Ridley has been somewhat disappointing from a stats/fantasy perspective this year which is why the odds are so nice on this alt line. I’m pretty much banking on a 100 yard game here and that’s well within his talent level. I just need TLaw (if he plays) to stop meat riding Christian Kirk for one game and find Calvin for a few targets.

Thought Taysom Hill had dirt on Sean Payton. But Payton is gone. This might go all the way to the top. https://t.co/F88alEasg9

— Danny Heifetz (@Danny_Heifetz) October 15, 2023

Those are pretty much the only bets I like for tomorrow. Too hard to tell with Lawrence’s current status and wackness of TNF games. I could sprinkle some coin on Taysom Hill to score a TD but it would honestly just piss me off if he did. I’m just hoping and praying Derek Carr doesn’t cry at the press conference if they lose at home again tomorrow.