I’m still recovering from post-Bedlam depresssion, so today I’m forcing myself one limb at a time to find the courage to make these picks. It’s with a heavy heart that I must deliver 5-0 at minimum. This is my flu game, my mona lisa, my game 1 of the 2018 Finals.
LA Rams +3.5 @ Green Bay Packers
- Jordan Love and the Packers are trash. I get the game is in Lambeau but that’s not enough right now to convince me they’re gonna win. I love taking the Rams after last week’s shit pumping, we’ve seen over and over how the bounce back games work. Cooper Kupp and Puka Nacua will carry me to victory.
Raiders -1.5 vs. NYG
- I feel like this is kind of a square play but I’m making it anyway. Raiders made BIG changes this week by FINALLY getting rid of Josh McDaniels and benching Jimmy G. Sometimes teams get a little boost for 1-2 games after major shakeups so that’s pretty much what I’m counting on. Hopefully AOC actually takes his checkdowns instead of launching interceptions down the field for no reason. I can’t believe I just advocated for checkdowns- that’s how bad Jimmy G has been.
Cincinatti Bengals -2.5 vs. Buffalo
- This one is more or less a pick em in my eyes. A month ago I would’ve hated betting on the Bengals but it’s looking like Joey B is starting to find his groove again. Buffalo has an entire roster full of injured players so I think they’ll be able to move the ball well. Josh Allen has superman potential in pretty much every game he plays but the other side of that coin is a turnover machine. I’m not sure which one will come out in Cincy today but it will likely decide the game.
Chicago Bears +9.5 @ New Orleans
- Putting my faith and money in the Bears? I feel like I should check myself into a psych ward. The truth is I just don’t trust the Saints to cover 9.5 on anyone. I suppose Derek Carr has been slightly better the last 2 weeks but this still isn’t a good football team. Tyson Bagel sucks and could easily wipe me out in just the first half but you never know. Betting on bad teams to cover large spreads isn’t something I’m very fond of. Rooting hard for Da Bears today.
Ravens -6.5 vs. Seattle
- I honestly LOVE Seattle in this game. It just feels so perfect that I have to take the Ravens. They’re maddeningly inconsistent but when they’re on they’re fucking ON. For fantasy and gambling reasons I’m reallllyyy gonna need Lamar to take over this game. He’s got it in his bag but doesn’t always pull it out (that’s what she said).
Ceedee Lamb O78.5 receiving yards
- I normally don’t put any money on Cowboys game because it just multiplies the pain if we lose. However if we’re gonna compete in this game Ceedee Lamb is gonna have to get going early and often. He’s been ballin the last 2 weeks, I’m just hoping McCarthy doesn’t put us back in conservative mode after last week. The Eagles secondary is suspect at best and if Dak can find any time to throw we should be able to tear them up.
Can we go 6-0 on this mountain of sadness? I guess we’ll find out after 12+ hours of commerical free football. I don’t think there’s anything else that can cure my disease of losing. OU set me up for a trifecta of a bad sports weekend, I’m hoping Sunday doesn’t take a turn for the worst.
The Armchair Experts 
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