NFL Week 10 Super Locks

It’s been a good last few weeks for me gambling wise. I’m trying to ride the positive momentum from lady luck combined with the Sooners finally catching a W yesterday. Could I potentiCincally redeem myself after last weeks historically bad sports weekend for me? I can’t think of a better time to go undefeated than November 12th 2023, let’s begin.

Jacksonville Jaguards MONEYLINE (+148) vs. 49ers

• FUCK Brock Purdy and DEATH to the 49ers. I hope these scumbags go on to lose 4 in a row this afternoon. Kyle Shanahan coming off a bye feels like it gives them an advantage but I don’t care. This is a heart over head pick and the ML is strong enough to make me willing to die on this hill.

"If the 49ers lose & Brock Purdy plays poorly, there'll be a real discussion about should they bench Purdy — and that'd be foolish. We know Sam Darnold can't play. The discussion we should have is what a debacle the Trey Lance situation was."

— @getnickwright explains: pic.twitter.com/sWBLtabjan

— First Things First (@FTFonFS1) November 10, 2023

Cincinnatti Bengals -5.5 vs. Houston Texans

• The rules of the NFL in 2023 are simple. If a team looks great the week before, fade the fuck out of them the following week. CJ Stroud put on a performance for the ages last week so I’m counting on an absolute dud in week 10. It doesn’t make any sense but that’s just how it is now. Bengals continue their climb back to being good. A shootout would be a lot of fun though.

Detroit Lions -2.5 @ Chargers

• Normally I’d be terrified of the Lions as road favorites. Then I remembered my apartment complex has a greater population than Chargers fans in the world so no Home Field Advantage. My trust in Jared Goff also doubles when he’s playing in a dome. Can the Lions stay in No. 1 seed contention?

Baltimore Ravens -6 vs. Cleveland

• Baltimore is the hottest team in the league right now. Lamar is firmly in the MVP contention and somehow despite all the injuries their defense has been top tier. Hopefully Deshaun Weinstein will suck ass tonight and we get another blowout win for the good guys.

New Orleans Saints -2.5 @ Minnesota

• I really hate to do this but I have to follow my principles. Josh Dobbs came in and did the impossible last week somehow just bullshitting all over the field. I don’t know if he’ll be able to capture that same magic in his second week. I saw on Twitter he didn’t even know where the locker room was in his home stadium so basically if he wins today the NFL isn’t even a real sport. Absolutely no clue what the Passtronaught has in store for us today.

Josh Dobbs had to be shown where the Vikings home locker rooms are 🤣

(via @NFLonFOX)pic.twitter.com/1uxpNKEwK0

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) November 12, 2023

TJ Hockenson U43.5 Receiving Yards

• Yet again I hate to fade the sweet prince HockGOAT. He’s been so good all year but apparently he’s on a snap count today and will only play “critical downs.” I have no idea what that means but I just have to assume he ain’t gonna be seeing a lot of volume today. Maybe he breaks off a big catch and run and I’ll be sad but I’m trying to be high IQ today.

Those are most of the picks I like today. As a homer I want to take Cowboys -17.5 so fucking bad but that’s an absurdly large line. Fading my TOTY in the Vikings makes me sick but it must be done. Maybe Josh Dobbs is just the greatest QB ever though and prove me an idiot.