NFL Sunday Week 11 Best Bets

I’m back. If we pretend last weekend did not happen then I’ve been having a pretty good season so far. I’m too lazy to go back and look what my actual record will be but in my head I’m shooting around 60%. It also turns out that TJ Hockenson was indeed NOT on a snap count last week. Ed Werder can go fuck himself right to hell- I lost in fantasy and multiple picks last week because of that dumbass report.

Dallas Cowboys -10.5 @ Panthers

• Yet another major spread for the Boys in Blue but this one honestly seems kind of low? They were 17.5 point favorites last week against the Giants and that was the lock of the century. The Panthers have to be considered at least as bad as them, and our defense should take advantage of a rookie QB who’s really struggling right now. Also send Ceedee Lamb to the moon again.

Pittsburgh Steelers +2.5 @ Cleveland

• The Steelers defense against DTR? I’ll take that any day of the week. Deshaun Weinstein is out for the season so I’m hoping for a little implosion this week. He wasn’t very good anyway so I guess the dropoff won’t be massive but DTR has been BAD in his limited action so far.

Detroit -7.5 vs. Chicago

• MCDC and the Lions have been taking care of business this year, I can’t believe it. As long as the return of Justin Fields doesn’t fuck me here with a couple bullshit runs then I remain confident. Goff is calling for aid and Amon-Ra shall answer. Let’s get this bread.

Minnesota Vikings +3 @ Denver

• I think we need to sloowwwwww down on the Denver Broncos respect here. Russel Wilson still isn’t good and I’m not gonna start believing in them now. The Passtronaught is here to take names and kick ass and I don’t see him stopping against the Mile-High mid defense. Unfortunately JJettas is still out for now but as long as Dobbs keeps targeting HockGOAT 10 times a game (fuck you Ed Werder) we’ll be A-Okay.

Kansas City -2.5 vs. Philly

• Fuck Philly, fuck em all. There’s no way I’ll ever bet on them to win shit. This Super Bowl rematch is gonna need to go KC’s way for Dallas to get back in the division race. The gaunlet is approaching and every day I’m praying on the Eagle’s downfall.

No props today. After the Ed Werder fiasco I’ll never trust another souless coward who works for ESPN. I don’t know whose healthy or whose playing or how many snaps. It’s all bullshit and they can suck my balls. If karma never forgets an address then it should be mailing be a betslip with 5 of these picks cashing on Tuesday morning. Let’s ride.