Category: Uncategorized

  • Sooners Stomp Little Brother Texas

    BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR What a fucking day today was. There are few games in sports like the Red River Rivalry, and what we just witnessed a few hours ago is exactly why. Every fucking play and every fucking down is charged up with emotion until the final bell rings and someone is left in piss at the…

  • It’s OU/TX Saturday

    The best rivalry in college football is finally here. It’s been a long ass year having to endure Texas fans act all high and mighty from their “blowout” win in 2022. I can’t imagine how they crushed a team with a TE playing QB, but that’s just how elite that program is and has always…

  • Cowboys Embarrass Patriots

    As a proud American citizen I like to consider myself an American Patriot, but I certainly didn’t feel like one today as I was too busy watching the Cowboys stick their foots up their ass. True Americans root for the one and only America’s Team and that was proven on a new level today. Poor…

  • NFL Week 4 Locks

    I disappointed myself in week 3. Looks like I’m starting my season 2-3 after disaster struck me right in the face. Minnesota absolutely blew it on a last-second play, Arthur Smith still belongs in prison, and the Howellitzer ran out of bullets almost immediately. The good news is I was ALL over the Dolphins beating…

  • Cowboys Absolutely Blow Game to Arizona

    I guess the NFL season hasn’t officially started until my beloved Cowboys ruin my fucking Sunday for the first time. What a shitshow this fucking game was. Through 2 weeks, Dallas had been nothing but excellent outscoring the New Jersey teams 70-10. Arizona meanwhile had been organizing the Caleb Williams tank-a-thon and seemed primed to…

  • NFL Week 3 Best Bets

    Here we are, week 3. I’m sick and ashamed with myself that I missed week 2 which is the most opportunistic (big word) time to take advantage of all the dumbass overreactions from week 1. I knew the Bills wouldn’t suck ass again and the Packers wouldn’t be as good as they showed but alas,…

  • Thursday Night Football Week 3 Best Bets

    I’m a little late to the gambling stage of NFL season. I’ve missed weeks 1 and 2 but that can only mean that I’m bringing Thor’s hammer to hit this season HARD every week for the next 18 weeks (give or take). Lucky for me I get to start of with the 49ers and the…

  • Dallas Cowboys Season Preview

    I’m embarrassed to admit this, but the only team I didn’t get a season preview in for is my favorite team, the Dallas Cowboys. We’re already 2 weeks into the season, so obviously my predictions are going to Hell. But since I’m a man of character, you should be able to trust that all my…

  • Philadelphia Eagles Season Preview

    My stomach is turning over in sickness even thinking about writing this article. I’m going to have to keep it short in order to preserve my own mental sanity. The Eagles are the dirtiest, most despicable franchise in the entire world and even the thought of praising them in any way makes me want to…

  • Aaron Rodgers Gets Hurt Immediately

    Welp, it’s a sad day it’s a bad day for New York Jets fans. We made it 4 plays into the Jets/Bills game before Aaron Rodgers got carted off with an apparent lower leg injury. We don’t yet know the extent of the injur but the twitter doctors are already out proclaiming it an achilles…