Tag: sports
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NBA Draft Review
The NBA Draft was last night, and Jesus Christ it was a fucking snooze fest. I was hoping for at least 3.5 Woj bombs where some unhappy superstars could catch a breath of fresh air on a new squad. It makes me and everyone else in the world so excited when they list those trade…
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Bradley Beal Traded to Phoenix
The Phoenix Suns have made another trade. After acquiring Kevin Durant mid-season this year, they’ve immediately turned around and traded for another star. Heroic playoff performer Bradley Beal is the newest member of the Suns big 4 (if you count Deandre Ayton). Phoenix is infected head to toe with new owner syndrome. They haven’t stopped…
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Zion Williamson: Sex Addict?
Once upon a time the year was 2019. The NBA Draft was coming up, and it had 2 of the most anticipated prospects in recent memory: Zion Williamson and Ja Morant. These high-flying human highlight reels were about to set the league on fire, and everyone had nothing but praise for the young goats. Fast-forward…
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NBA Finals Game 3 Picks
Game 2 of the NBA Finals was a resounding success. I completely jinxed the Nuggets into blowing a game on their home court. Sometimes you just have to take things into your own hands and do what needs to be done. If placing my hourly wages on the Nuggets in hopes that it curses them…
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NBA Finals Game 2 Picks
Game 1 of the NBA Finals was an abject disaster. At least I got home after tipoff so I couldn’t throw away my monthly wages on some half-baked picks. For game 2 though, I’m baking these picks allll the way through. There’s actually a chance I burn them. I have no faith this series will…
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Nuggets Take NBA Finals Game 1
Any NBA Finals without Lebron is barely worth watching, but since I’m a better person than the average man/woman I decided to flick on ABC and sit on my favorite couch for a couple hours. What I witnessed and realized tonight was apalling: the Denver Nuggets will be our 2023 NBA Champions. As of May…
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I Saved The Miami Heat
A debate’s been floating around recently regarding potential statue-holders for the Miami Heat. Specifically, people don’t seem to think Lebron deserves a statue for bringing them 2 championships and 4 straight finals appearances. Setting that Ludacris perspective aside, I can think of someone who without question deserves a statue in South Beach: me. I wrote…
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Eastern Conference Finals Game 7 Bets
The Heat have officially blown it. I can’t believe this is where we are, but on Saturday night the Celtics tied the series 3-3 with one of the most ridiculous/bullshit game winners I’ve ever seen in my life. Jimmy didn’t show up AT ALL for game 6 until the very end, when he hit 3…
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Celtics vs. Heat Game 6 Bets
I don’t know if my 5 followers have noticed, but I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus these last few days. After Lebron’s season was ended by the Denver Chicken Nuggets I needed to go on a sabbatical. Mental health vacation was officially in full swing. Then, while I was manifesting a 5th ring…
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Lakers Season Has Come to Sad, Brutal End
I am sad. Quite sad actually. 2023 has been a rough sports year for me to say the least. The Oklahoma Sooners had their worst season in a decade, the Cowboys blew it in the playoffs, and now Lebron’s conquest for a 5th ring is coming to an end. Usually I can count on at…
The Armchair Experts 