Alright, some weird shit has been going on, and I’m not the only one whose been noticing. Since the Georgia Bulldawgs emabarssed the Hypno Toads 65-7 in the CFB National Championship, a lot of the UGA players have taken to Twitter to share their outlook on this season.
MULTIPLE players have been quoted saying “ya’ll thought we was goin 7-5 this season, listen to ya’ll now.” What the fuck? What news articles are these guys reading? This is the modern age, every single one of them has access to Twitter, ESPN, Instagram, whatever. How can this roster stuffed with 5 star and 4 star recruits possibly have this mentality?
Sure, I think a SOMEWHAT noticeable dropoff could’ve been expected for Georgia. They lost like 72 players to the NFL, so you would expect them to maybe be quite not as good as the dominant natty team that one last year. HOWEVER, that is far from thinking these dudes were gonna plummet off a cliff and suck ass, right?
Apparently that’s dead fucking wrong.
I am hereby calling for an official investigation of Kirby Smart. What is his background exactly? Was a psychology major in college? Are we SURE he isn’t a distance relative from any (anonymmous) dictators currently located between China and Japan (he fits the build, just saying). The brainwashing of these young men is growing to a level nearly unprecedented in the Americas. I even remember watching Kirby’s halftime interview of the natty. They were already beating the piss out of TCU and they came out in the second half and basically doubled their point total. A few of his pre-game speeches have also gotten leaked, and I’ve gotta say, it’s impressive. I’m no bulldawg but even I was ready to strap-on a spiked collar and try to run through a much larger human than me. I felt unstoppable.
And therein lies the problem. If Kirby can get an unassuming boy on his couch riled up from just an audio clip, I can only imagine how a 6’3 250 lb. Linebacker would feel after a year with this guy. I mean we’re talking real danger to people on AND off the field. Do they attack every part of their lives this way? Do these world class athletes feel 7-5 at all times? Your’e taking “nobody believes in us fuel” (stronger than rocket fuel) and injecting it into the veins of crazy testosterone-filled freak athletes. I think the University of Georgia should be forced to implement mandatory warning signs wherever the football players are lurking around. I’d be afraid for my life walking to my 3 PM Calc 2 class every Tuesday/Thursday. Damnit I miss college.
Regardless, we can’t let the insanity of this just pass us by. What happens when he digs another layer and convinces them they should’nt even make a bowl game? Or maybe the entire media thinks they’ll go winless? He would have borderline take-over-the-world capabilities at that point. I can think of several third-world countries that wouldn’t go to war with a Georgia team that thinks Twitter predicted them going 2-10. I’m already keeping my eyes peeled for Kirby Smart presidential campaigns. I’m curious where the Smart dynasty will lead us over the course of my life. It’s either we arrest him now or lead us into the Golden Age as we become the next North Korea
Either way, God Bless America.
The Armchair Experts 
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