The Muthafuckin GOAT is BACK!! Jonny Bones made his triumphant return to the UFC last night after a 3-year absence with a twist: he was fighting at Heavyweight. There has been lots of speculation around this fight for a while now. Would Bones be the same after putting on over 20 pounds? Has he treated his body like a temple these past 3 years (definitely not)? Would Jon hit the slopes the night before? I think he answered all these questions with his show last night.
I’m about as casual as it gets with the UFC. I watch all the big fights and love acting like I know what’s going on and beating my chest when there’s a big hit. This fight was a masterclass. Bones put this guy whose name I don’t know away quickly in the first round. He did all that technical fighter shit and made the guy tap. As someone who knows a thing or two about not lasting long, I wasn’t disappointed. I’d tell the other guy that he did a good job, and he deserves another shot. His size wasn’t the problem, he just hadn’t quite perfected the positions on the ground. It was perfectly satisfying with room for improvement.
Now we need to wait and see what Bones has in store for us next. I’m guessing he’ll stay in the heavyweight division and just run through all of them real quick (pause). I wish I knew who the good heavyweights were so I could get excited about the next match. I could just google it, but I believe in authenticity and will only deliver the unfiltered truth around here. Shout out to me and my high character. I’m pretty sure Ngannou retired (I did google how to spell his name actually), so I guess we’re never getting that fight. I really hope Cyril Gane (googled again) wasn’t the top guy in this division. If he made quick work of the best already then, we’re fucked from an entertainment standpoint. Maybe Jake Paul would be willing to hop in the Octagon.
At this point, Jon Jones probably has to be considered the PFP Goat. I wasn’t really tuned in during his run of dominance because I was about 12 years old. However, I can assure you that I have consumed hours of Podcast data and done Twitter deep dives so my opinion should be treated as Fact. I take pride in educating my readers and building upon their network of knowledge. This is a scholars-only blog, basically a free Harvard course online.
I hope you learned something today, and I hope Jon Jones’ drug dealer is taking the night off.
The Armchair Experts 
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