Lakers vs. Warriors, Lebron vs. Steph Curry, Anthony Davis vs. Kevon Looney. A true clash of the Titans. These are the matchups we’d been hoping we’d get all playoffs. I have no idea who is going to win this series, but that’s why I’m here to break it down. Will the GOAT prevail and finally end the Warrior’s sinister reign? Or will Steph Curry’s magic horseshoe that lives in his asshole power the Warriors to yet another cheap victory? Let’s find out.
We haven’t seen Lebron vs. Steph in the playoffs since 2018, and my mental health has been better for it. I had to watch Lebron face off against the Warriors with a significantly worse team 4 God-forsaken years in a row. Now, Lebron maybe has a better team, but he’s fucking 38. Steph is 35 but still kicking it into high gear. I got respect for what Steph has done. He’s probably securely in the top 10 all-time now and is obviously one of the best players ever. Still, it makes me sick to see his fans and other tea drinkers put him in the same stratosphere as Lebron. It’s still not even close. Don’t give me that bullshit record of him being 3-1 vs. Lebron in the finals. Kevin Durant was absolutely backpacking in those series and that was the most unstoppable and unfair team the world has ever seen. I still have not forgiven the Warriors for signing him and I never fucking will. For all of Steph’s greatness, he’s still a front-running motherfucker. He’s at his most dangerous whenever the Warriors have a 5-point lead- he’ll just start pouring it on and skipping up the court at that point. So fucking annoying.
The Lakers really don’t have anyone to guard Curry in these series either. VanderGOAT struggled against the smaller Morant and I would expect that to happen again here. Maybe Schroeder? I don’t know. Curry is going to get his regardless so I guess we should just punt on that aspect. Put Vando on Klay and make his life hell in this series. The rest of the Warriors have not been very good this season. Unless they actually only tried in 50% of the games during the regular season, and have the capability to turn it on in the playoff, then I’m confident LA can get it done. In reality, we all know this series will boil down to whether Anthony Davis shows up or not. I’m confident he’ll bring his all-world defense, but I never EVER have faith that he’ll try on offense. Sometimes he’s just ADud for no fucking reason. The Lakers NEED him to be ADominant this series.
My mental and physical health cannot handle the Warriors beating Lebron again. I already know our biggest threat in this series is The Horseshoe. I am beyond confident AD or Lebron will miss at least 1 game this series, likely more. Usually, Lebron isn’t the one who gets hurt. The horseshoe likes to hurt all his teammates so it looks like Lebron’s fault when the team collapses around him. If no injuries, then everyone on the team will miraculously forget how to play basketball and miss every 3-point attempt in the 4th quarter of a must-win game.
Everyone seems to be looking forward to this series, but I’m not. I just want it to be over. I’m so so so sick of Steph Curry and the Horseshoe and the Warriors. I might need an exorcism after this series. For better or for worse, I am throwing my entire well-being face first into this series. I’m the #1 Ryder. If Lebron has fans, I am one of them. If he has 1 fan that fan is me. If he has no fans, that means I am no longer on this Earth. Good luck Lebron, you’re going to need it.
Lakers in 6.
The Armchair Experts 
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