“Left hand up Who Are We?? The COMMANDERS!” – Those are the lyrics to the coolest and best theme song the NFL has ever seen. I know their fanbase is proud to boast that anthem before and after every game. Let’s see if the Redskins Commanders will give their fans something to be proud of ON the field this year.
The offense will be deploying the Howellitzer full time this season. The 2nd year QB out of North Carolina is coming off a pretty solid pre-season and I think there might actually be some expectations for him this year. That’s a problem, because I wouldn’t hate him as a guy who could come in and surprise a few folks but it seems like that might be out the window already. The good news is he has a pair of really solid WRs in Terry McLaurin and Jahan Dotson. If Howell is worth a fuck at all both of these guys could go for 1k + yards this season. That’s cool for fantasy, but I grew up fucking hating this team and will not be rooting for that to happen. I also don’t have either of those guys in fantasy so there is actually no reason at all for me to root for that. The backfield consists of Antonio Gibson and Brian Robinson, and I still have no idea if either are any good. Brian Robinson got fucking shot and came back to the field in 5 WEEKS. Obviously he didn’t show that much but I can’t really hold that against him because again he got fucking SHOT. Let’s hope they can at least avoid bullets in 2023.
I don’t know anything about the Cummanders defense other than Chase Young is a huge bust. His name literally translates to pedophile so we all should’ve seen this coming, but hindsight is 2020. Apparently their rookie CB Emmanuel Forbes is pretty good but he’s built like a 4th grader at 5’8″ and 155 pounds. They say he has great “ball skills”, but I think that’s gonna translate better in the bedroom than the gridiron at his size. Whatever, I hope they fucking suck on defense so Dak can light them up and down the field. We’ll probably drop 60 on them this year.
Fuck the Commanders. I hope they go winless this year. I definitely expect them to finish last in the NFC East. The Giants are overrated right now but I still think they’re a little better than Washington, and they’re DEFINITELY not better than Philly or Dallas. Unless Sam Howell starts dropping nukes everywhere, the Washingston fans should expect another year of disappointment. Can’t say I feel particularly bad about it.
2023 Record: 6-11
Last Place in NFC East
The Armchair Experts 
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