Category: BASKETBALL
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NBA Thursday Best Bets
I’ve been away on a long hiatus due to vacation and a disturbingly painful illness. Nevertheless, I have been locked in to the world of NBA basketball. Just yesterday I was able to witness the glorious King James dominate the 4th quarter against the Clippers with a vintage GOAT performance. Can he follow it up…
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NBA Wednesday Picks
I’m running SUPER close on time here but I’m an extremely fast typer so I should be able to get my Wednesday NBA picks out on time (just kidding, these games are all on Thursday). Once or twice a week I’ll post a blog with some basketball picks for that night. If we have a…
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Lakers FINALLY Beat Clippers
It feels like it’s been fucking years since I could write that sentence above. It’s ironic, because the Clippers haven’t had playoff success anywhere near Lakers’ level in the Kawhi/PG era but they always win the head to head. Now they are the proud claimers of one James Harden (retarded?)- playoff success is just ahead!…
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Nuggets Beat Lakers on NBA Opening Night
Cancel the season. The Lakers season is already in the shitter after one game. At least that’s what my moron friends are already telling me in our toxic group chat that only infuriates me. I need better friends and a better NBA franchise to support. Even with the Laker’s new additions this game felt a…
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Victor Wembanyama Summer League Debut Reaction
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. What the FUCK was that???? I don’t want to exaggerate, but that was easily the worst performance/debut I’ve ever seen from a #1 overall pick in my LIFE. The combination of no bag, bricked shots, and limp dick body language was enough to make me cringe my ass off tonight. It was seriously hard…
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NBA Draft Review
The NBA Draft was last night, and Jesus Christ it was a fucking snooze fest. I was hoping for at least 3.5 Woj bombs where some unhappy superstars could catch a breath of fresh air on a new squad. It makes me and everyone else in the world so excited when they list those trade…
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Victor Wembamyama will be a BUST
The NBA Draft is approaching quickly. It’s been one of the more hyped up drafts in recent memory, due to a highly regarded top 3. I’m here to declare that 2 out of these 3 prospects are complete frauds, and I have the scientific proof to back it up. Prepare for foolproof analysis. Let’s start…
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Bradley Beal Traded to Phoenix
The Phoenix Suns have made another trade. After acquiring Kevin Durant mid-season this year, they’ve immediately turned around and traded for another star. Heroic playoff performer Bradley Beal is the newest member of the Suns big 4 (if you count Deandre Ayton). Phoenix is infected head to toe with new owner syndrome. They haven’t stopped…
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Denver Wins NBA Finals
It’s officially official: the Denver Nuggets have claimed the 2023 NBA Title. It was a gross, ugly game 5 that had me shadow-boxing my TV, but at least we got some solid entertainment this Monday night. There was a lot of Jokic, a lot of Jimmy Butler choking (more on that later), and a lot…
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Zion Williamson: Sex Addict?
Once upon a time the year was 2019. The NBA Draft was coming up, and it had 2 of the most anticipated prospects in recent memory: Zion Williamson and Ja Morant. These high-flying human highlight reels were about to set the league on fire, and everyone had nothing but praise for the young goats. Fast-forward…
The Armchair Experts 