Category: FOOTBALL
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Cowboys Absolutely Blow Game to Arizona
I guess the NFL season hasn’t officially started until my beloved Cowboys ruin my fucking Sunday for the first time. What a shitshow this fucking game was. Through 2 weeks, Dallas had been nothing but excellent outscoring the New Jersey teams 70-10. Arizona meanwhile had been organizing the Caleb Williams tank-a-thon and seemed primed to…
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NFL Week 3 Best Bets
Here we are, week 3. I’m sick and ashamed with myself that I missed week 2 which is the most opportunistic (big word) time to take advantage of all the dumbass overreactions from week 1. I knew the Bills wouldn’t suck ass again and the Packers wouldn’t be as good as they showed but alas,…
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Thursday Night Football Week 3 Best Bets
I’m a little late to the gambling stage of NFL season. I’ve missed weeks 1 and 2 but that can only mean that I’m bringing Thor’s hammer to hit this season HARD every week for the next 18 weeks (give or take). Lucky for me I get to start of with the 49ers and the…
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Dallas Cowboys Season Preview
I’m embarrassed to admit this, but the only team I didn’t get a season preview in for is my favorite team, the Dallas Cowboys. We’re already 2 weeks into the season, so obviously my predictions are going to Hell. But since I’m a man of character, you should be able to trust that all my…
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Philadelphia Eagles Season Preview
My stomach is turning over in sickness even thinking about writing this article. I’m going to have to keep it short in order to preserve my own mental sanity. The Eagles are the dirtiest, most despicable franchise in the entire world and even the thought of praising them in any way makes me want to…
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Aaron Rodgers Gets Hurt Immediately
Welp, it’s a sad day it’s a bad day for New York Jets fans. We made it 4 plays into the Jets/Bills game before Aaron Rodgers got carted off with an apparent lower leg injury. We don’t yet know the extent of the injur but the twitter doctors are already out proclaiming it an achilles…
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Washington Commanders Season Preview
“Left hand up Who Are We?? The COMMANDERS!” – Those are the lyrics to the coolest and best theme song the NFL has ever seen. I know their fanbase is proud to boast that anthem before and after every game. Let’s see if the Redskins Commanders will give their fans something to be proud of…
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San Francisco 49ers Season Preview
Let me just get ahead of this right now: the 49ers will bounce the Cowboys out of the playoffs yet again. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why, but these sadistic motherfuckers will find a way to ruin my life for the 3rd year in a row. No matter how good we are,…
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Seattle Seahawks Season Preview
I wrote the Seahawks not too long ago, but they ain’t write back. I guess that’s the Geno model that the Seahawks have officially adopted. They surprised a lot of people last season with their offensive prowess, can we expect them to keep it up? That’s what I’m hear to tell you, as long as…
The Armchair Experts 