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Kansas City Chiefs Season Preview
Now we have to talk about the defending Super Bowl champs. Oh wow, I wonder what we could be expecting from them this season… I don’t hate the Chiefs but if they keep up this reign of dominance, Nick Wright is going to turn me against them more every single day. I’m not sure if football is even fun for these guys anymore, or maybe it’s the most fun thing in the entire world. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have Patrick Mahomes as your quarterback. He’s the best player I’ve ever seen in my life. I watched a highlight today where he scrambled out of the pocket, spun a defender out of his shoes, then over-hand flicked the ball to the back of the endzone for a touchdown. It probably wasn’t even a top 10 play of his entire career. He can make every throw, always comes up in the clutch, and is a genuinely likeable guy. It makes me sick. The only thing keeping him down to Earth is his weird-ass Tik-Tok dancing little brother and annoying-as-fuck girlfriend. I’m still not convinced sending them out in public wasn’t a sneaky genius move by Patrick to increase his approval rating. It’s like finally having a girl think you’re cute because you’re standing next to the two ugliest guys in the bar. I can relate to that, I’ve got some ugly ass friends.
I don’t even have much to say about the Chiefs offense. They have Pat Mahomes and Travis Kelce- enough said. I thought things might change after they traded Tyreek Hill but NOPE. Pat Mahomes still went out there and put up over 400 fantasy points with a bunch of fucking scrubs. Only he can do shit like that with no problem. Anybody else loses Tyreek Hill and they’ll turn back into Kirk Cousins. I guess Skyy Moore could take a leap and maybe Isaiah Pacheco is actually solid but it will never really matter. As long as PM15 is running around making circus throws they’ll be okay.
Somehow the Chiefs have also managed to put together a solid defense. It’s anchored by one of the best interior lineman in the league, Chris Jones. I have absolutely no idea where this guy came from or when he became elite but I guess it happened sometime over the last few years. Karlaftis is another solid piece they added recently. There aren’t any other superstars on the roster but they don’t need any more. When you’ve got the reliable high-powered offense on the other side you can slack off a little bit on the defensive end.
What else am I supposed to say? They’re the defending champs, and likely deserve to be favored to win it all again. They didn’t lose any significant pieces and still employ the best QB in the league. If Nick Wright ever stops being a righteous asshole about these guys then I will go back to feeling no contempt for them whatsoever. They honestly did me a huge favor when they beat the Eagles down in the Super Bowl. I quite enjoyed the dirty bird fansbase crying their eyes out in person and social media. Please do that again Chiefs!
2023 Record: 14-3
1st Place in AFC West
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LA Chargers Season Preview
Oh the dirty dirty LA Chargers. The former pride of San Diego tragically decided to move to the nasty streets of Los Angeles where absolutely nobody cares about this fucking team. I’ll neevr understand why teams decide to betray their hometown cities and loyal fanbases for the most oversaturated sports market in the entire world (looking at you too “LA” Rams) but owners just seem to love doing that dumb shit. Now they get to play in SoFi Stadium every sunday where 200 fans show up to watch Tik Tok in the stands. If the Chargers didn’t have an electric quarterback (no pun intended) and arguably the best uniforms in the league then they’d be the most despicable franchise in the sport.
Let’s start with the electric QB I alluded to above. Justin Herbert is 50% cyborg, 20% frat boy, 20% socially awkward introvert, and 10% fraud. Even Stevie Wonder could see his talent on the field but it’s hard to understand why the guy never wins anything. I don’t necessarily believe wins are a QB stat because I’m not stupid but it’s not like he’s just been on shitty teams with no help. If I was gonna start glazing him on Twitter I’d say his receivers are injury-prone and he was taking calls from one of the most moronic offensive coordinators ever. Still don’t understand how he managed to turn the guy with a bazooka attached to his shoulder into a check-down charlie. Regardless, this year should be an interesting test for Herbert’s social media narrative going forward. The NFL nerds always talk about his “processing” and ability to read defenses. Obviously I’m not a fucking dork who sits and watches the all-22 so I don’t have a great feel for QBs control at the line of scrimmage. Justin Herbert is a highlight reel machine and we deserve to see him launch that fucking football down the field into tight windows like a grown ass man. Hopefully Kellen Moore doesn’t neuter him again.
The Chargers drafted TCU Horned-fraud WR Quentin Johnston with their first round pick in 2023. The Chargers now have 3 talented WRs with Keenan and Mikey Dub on the other sides. I don’t really believe QJ is actually all that good but having a trio of talent like that benefits everyone. I expect the offense to take a leap this season. Herbert better give everything he has in an attempt to break the passing record this season. If I was Kellen Moore I’d be bombs away air raid on every defense that came my way. Consequences be damned.
San DiegoLos Angeles also employs a defense with tons of playmakers. They’ve got one of the best safeties in the league in Derwin James. Then of course there’s All-American good boy Joey Bosa. Not many players you can say have a chance at a political career once they’re finished in the league. Good for you Joey. The corpse of Khalil Mack is also still rumbling around out there on the defense. One of my favorite players as a kid seems to be running on fumes these days but I bet it still feels cool to say you have Khalil Mack on your defense. They did underperform last season, which is weird because Brandon “bitch-boy” Staley is supposed to be a defensive guru. So far the only thing he seems good at are some pretty sus hip-thrusts before kickoff.Good luck to Chargers fans this season, not sure how y’all do it. The best thing I can say about this team is they’ve got solid fantasy output from their RB Austin Ekeler. Not everyone can claim they’ve had the RB1 (even if he is a boring ass checkdown merchant) so congrats to the Chargers fans. Let’s see if they can keep it up in 2023.
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Denver Broncos Season Preview
It’s officially time to welcome back the people’s champ, Russell Wilson. We have to celebrate everyone’s favorite quarterback in the proper manner. As an impressionable young man, it really does inspire me the way Russell Wilson conducts himself on and off the field. He’s such a perfect human being and probably the most genuine down to earth man I’ve never met. You can absolutely tell by the way his teammates and friends revere him that he’s a true man of God and a HERO.
I have 100% confidence that the Broncos offense is on track for a BIG rebound season. ALL of the blame should go on Nathaniel Hackett, the worst coach in sports history. He committed one of the great crimes in NFL history by making Russell Wilson look bad. Making Russell Wilson look BAD??? That’s impossible! As far as I’m concerned, Nat Hackett should be thrown in prison for that crime alone. One day the great DangeRUSS Wilson is going to have his face on Mt. Rushmore (no thanks to Nat Hackett). Imagine having a strong trio of WRs, a talented RB, an offensive line, and the greatest quarterback who has ever lived, and averaging less than 17 points per game. Once again I say jail.
Luckily, the Broncos now have Sean Payton at the reigns, and I can’t wait to watch him unlock DangeRuss’s UNLIMITED potential. Be prepared for an MVP type season from Jesus Christ reincarnated. No longer will Hackett be sailing balls over Jerry Jeudy’s head and walking right into sacks. Sean Payton, armed with his super-bong is ready to bring the high back to Mile High.
That’s a leader of men right there
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Cowboys Training Camp Mania
We interrupt your daily program of previewing different team’s seasons to bring you news and updates from the Dallas Cowboys training camp. We are so fucking back baby!! The boys in blue (and silver) have been making waves on social media and I’m here to drink the kool-aid and pour some honey all over you guys.
It sure seems like the offense has been clicking on all cylinders. Other than one horrible throw that went viral (fuck you social media) it was dots all over the place. Touchdown to Ceedee, then tuddy to newbie Brandin Cooks. Even the Turpedo was getting in on the action. I can’t tell you how much I needed to see touchdowns on my timeline again, even in practice form.
Word on the street is the secondary was also sticking like glue to our WRs. Not sure if that’s impressive by them or an indictment on out WR core but I’m going to choose to view it as a positive for both. Iron sharpens iron and the boys busted out the tool kit.
I also can’t forget to mention Micah Parsons single-handedly ruining practice (almost). He also almost ruined out season when he nose-dived into Dak’s legs on a play. We can’t be having any more of that shit until the season Micah. Feel free to take a shot at Jalen or Danny though when the real lights come on. I’m afraid we might be in for a 20-sack season from the lion. Quarterbacks are already having nightmares.
The boys are so fucking back and football is this close to being back in our lives. Even the thought is enough to brick me up or a week. Preseason awaits.
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Las Vegas Raiders Season Preview
I’ve always had a soft spot for the
OaklandLas Vegas Raiders. For one, they have the second-best uniforms in the NFL (behind the Cowboys of course). The silver and black absolutley FUCKS- you just can’t beat it (except for the Cowboys of course). The problem is, the actual team on the field wearing the uniforms haven’t fucked in quite some time. In fact, one could even make the case they seem to be re-virginalizing. Part of the problem is they share a division with the best QB that’s ever lived, and part of it is them being one of the worst run franchises of the last 20 years. Derek Carr was good but never quite the guy, and outside of him it’s been an absolute dumpster fire. The best move they’ve ever made (that I can remember) was bringing in camera-man respecter, Davante Adams. Pretty hard to miss with that guy but even he could only do so much. Let’s see if they can bounce back this year (the answer is no).Derek Carr has officially been shipped out and replaced with supermodel Jimmy Garappolo. Will his handsomeness be enough to level-up the Raiders offense and finally make them worth a shit? Probably not. Even with Davante Adams I don’t think these guys have what it takes to make a deep playoff run. We also can’t forget to add the Josh Jacobs drama to the mix. All the running backs are quite upset with the NFL right now because teams (finally) are refusing to overpay for that position. It does suck that these guys might not get their money but it simply doesn’t make sense anymore. This is classic freshman year of college economics: supply > demand so price = down. I also strongly believe that offensive lines are much more responsible for a running game’s success than the runner himself. Sure, a great RB can be exciting to watch and add explosive plays, but there’s no evidence that you even need one to win a Super Bowl. All the recent NFL Champs have had small RB payrolls and no superstars in the backfield. It’s a passing league now (has been for a while), and even the toddler minds of NFL front offices have caught up a little bit.
The Raiders defense remains a mystery to me. They got put in a pretty tough spot when Jon Gruden took over and horribly missed on every draft selection he ever took. Remember that one time he had 3 first round picks and took Clelin Ferrel (trash), Josh Jacobs (running back), Jonathan Abram (worst safety in the league)? He then followed that up with 1st round CB Damon Arnette (felon) the very next year. Pretty hard to build a willing foundation for your roster when you go 0/4 just in the first round. Amazingly enough, they did land Mad Maxx Crosby in the 4th round of 2019, who is about the only player worth a fuck for them right now. Still, one pass rusher isn’t really enough to get the job done.
I feel bad for the black hole because that conman Gruden didn’t give them any good memories and now they’re still fucked after him. I also have 0 faith in Josh McDaniels who has been a complete failure whenever Daddy Belicheck isn’t holding his leash. I’m sorry Raiders fans, if I had the power to change things I definitely would. Unless the Broncos send out the worst offense of all time again with Gus Fring at the helm then I’m pretty sure they’ll finish last in the division. That division is just too fucking strong with Mahomes and Herbert taking up all the space at the top. Get well soon Raiders fans, you will be in my prayers.
2023 Record: 5-12
Last Place in AFC West
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Cincinatti Bengals Season Preview
Finally, a team in the AFC North that doesn’t want to make me gouge my eyes out with a seraded blade when I watch their offense. For years, the Bengals absolutely fit that description but they’ve managed to flip the script in recent times. I give 90% of the credit to the new sheriff Joe Sheisty. After his 2019 LSU season we knew he was destined for greatness and he hasn’t disappointed. Then throw in JaMarr Chase to the mix (did you know they were teammates in college)? Dayyummm you’ve got a real fantasy football factory going on in Cincy. I even forgot to mention Tee Higgins and famous respecter of women, Joe Mixon. Let’s see how #WhoDey nation looks in 2023.
I already went over the electric weapons the Bengals deploy on offense. JaMarr Chase has already cemented himself as one of the best WRs in the league in just 2 seasons. It sucks he got hurt last year because I would’ve liked to have seen if he could improve on his NFL rookie receiving record. He’s so good he even has a solid case to be the first overall pick in fantasy football this year, and that’s high praise. Opposite him is former Dabo Clemson Tiger, Tee Higgins. This guy really gets slept on simply because of how good JaMarr ended up being. I don’t know how to define “sleeping on” right now because everyone knows he’s good, but if we were doing a rankings I think he’s a lot closer to 10 than 20. They’ve also done a solid job improving their offensive line in the last year. They stole La’el Colins from the Cowboys so fuck them for that. It doesn’t seem like Joe Mixon is gonna end up leaving this offseason so I’m sure the running attack will be pretty much the same this year. Honestly I guess the whole offense is gonna be the same pending any improvements from their stars. If Joe and JaMarr and Tee somehow manage to level up again then we’re gonna be in some serious fucking trouble. The AFC is already loaded with great offenses the last thing we need is any of them getting better.
The Bengals defense remains a mystery to me. If you put a gun to my head I’m not sure I could name 2 players from that unit. Yet (somehow) they manage to be a strong defense without any superstars. I mean if the best pass rusher you have is Trey Hendrickson you wouldn’t expect anything special on that side of the ball. Another amazing mystery is how they played 10x better in the 2nd half of games last season. Their defensive coordinator became the king of “halftime adjustments” last year even though I’m pretty sure that doesn’t even mean anything anymore. People act like teams are really changing their entire gameplan in the 12 minutes they have for halftime. Take out at least 5 of those for getting in and out of the locker room and taking care of other business. Adjustments is now just another meaningless word on NFL Twitter (sorry, NFL ‘X’). I guess there’s a chance these guys just got lucky and are complete frauds. I’ll be looking forward to telling Bengals fans that on my burner account soon.
I am officially predicting the Bengals to repeat as AFC North champions. The only competition in my mind is the Ravens, but I can’t bet on what I haven’t seen yet. The Bengals have by far the best weapons in the division, maybe even the best weapons in the entire AFC/NFL. It’s hard to go against that in 2023 when offensive powered teams dominate the league. The only thing holding this team back is that they’re still the Bengals. Joe Burrow has almost managed to turn that reputation around but I’d say the threshold should be at least 5 years to reverse a curse. The tides are definitely turning in their favor, but let’s see one more succesful season without some dumb shit happening before we put it in writing. Congrats to the Bengals fans, I have crowned you division champs once again (curse not withstanding).
2023 Record: 13-4
1st Place in AFC North
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Pittsburgh Steelers Season Preview
It’s time to talk about one of my least favorite franchises in the league: The Pittsburgh Steelers. As a Cowboys fan, it would be against my moral code to have any positive thoughts about the Steelers. The only compliment I’ll ever give them is that when we play them they provide an elite uniform matchup. This team is so fucking boring. They have boring players, run a boring scheme, and continue to employ a disgusting Big 10 brand of football. I will never understand how they have any fans, especially considering who they employed at QB for 18 years, what a standup guy he was! Now they’ve moved on to Kenny Kitten Mittens and the future is up in the air. Will Kenny and his tiny hands turn the Steelers back into a respectable team?
The Steelers offense could actually be semi-interesting this year. They have a few weapons on offense that will definitely get people excited just based on name value. I’m pretty sure that some of them are actually overrated as Hell but don’t tell Steelers fans that. Diontae Johnson is a good but not great WR in my opinion. I much prefer the OG George Pickens. It’s hard to argue against a physical freak that also puts out quality Twitter content. Then we have Najee Harris, a total volume merchant who is allergic to efficiency. He’s yet another prime example that an offensive line controls the run game way more than the RB. I’ll forget the clip of him horribly failing to get past 1 linebacker for a potential huge gain. I think you could even argue that the WR2 (Pickens) and RB2 (Jaylen Warren) are actually better than the perceived top dawgs on the team. Another boring analysis here but their success is basically just gonna come down to Captain Kitten Mittens. If his tiny hands can grip the ball and sling it downfield effectively then they might actually be pretty solid. Of course, there’s always the chance that Mike Tomlin wants to “run it down their fuckin throat” and throws the season away with that stone-age philosophy. Keep it up Mike!
As with the Ravens, I’m sure the Steelers will send out a pretty solid defensive unit this year. “Bad Steelers Defense” is an oxymoron. They’ve got dudes like Minkah Fitzpatrick and and perennial DPOY candidate TJ Watt. Having two studs of that caliber makes things pretty easy. They also got a major steal in this year’s draft when they snagged CB Joey Porter Jr. in the 2nd round. They have a lot of talent and a defensive minded head coach. I’m no mathematician but I’m pretty sure that equation = nice D (no homo).
Oh well, another AFC North team off the books. I’m so thankful to almost be done with this cold lifeless divison. Thank goodness I saved the Bengals for last, at least they have some electric weapons that makes my pickly wiggle a little bit. I can say for certain that the Steelers have never once made my blood flow down there. I’ll be praying on your downfall all season Pittsburgh.
2023 Record: 7-10
Last place in AFC North
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Baltimore Ravens Season Preview
Nevermore, said the Raven.
The Baltimore Ravens, the blue-collar crew of the NFL. I don’t know how it happened but the AFC North somehow adopted the Big 10 mindset of football which is ground and pound/never throw the fucking ball. Normally that outdated style is quite boring to watch but thankfully Baltimore weaponizes star running back Lamar Jackson to his full potential on the ground. Kidding of course, Lamar is an elite QB who has been completely unstoppable during the regular season and already proved he’s the best running QB in NFL history. Unfortunately, he’s come up short in a few playoff games and been unreliable from a health standpoint for a couple years now. Will 2023 be the year he returns to his 2019 MVP form? Let’s find out.
The Ravens made some necessary adjustments to the offensive coaching staff this offseason by getting rid of long-time OC Greg Roman. He was essentially the man responsible for installing the power-run scheme we’ve gotten used to seeing in Baltimore by now. His style definitely fit the franchise and what they want to be, but I think they’ve officially hit the point where they can recognize it’s limitations and flaws. The fact is teams built around their running game just won’t be able to make deep playoff runs in 2023. One-dimmensional offenses are simply easier to stop in the post-season. Sure you could point to the 2022 Eagles and argue they were a “power run” team, but I’d just direct you to their 2 elite dynamic receiving options in AJ Brown and Devonta Smith (+ Dallas Goedert), not to mention the best offensive line in the league. Outside of Mark Andrews, the Ravens haven’t had any reliable pass catchers for years, which really puts a ceiling on their potential postseason success. Of course, all the blame falls on Lamar and he becomes unfairly labeled a “playoff choker” even when their eventual demise is entirely predictable. They’ve finally made an attempt at getting some weapons with the additions of OBJ and Zay Flowers. I’m not convinced Odell will ever return to form after his injuries, but if he can even get 80% there the Ravens passing attack should noticeably improve.
I’ve been thinking about the Ravens defense and that’s pretty much all I needed to put me in the bedtime mood. I think we all know the Ravens defense will be staunch no matter what. Like I said, it’s Big 10 football in that division, so they’ll be playing plenty of limp-dick offenses that inflate the Ravens reputation. Sometimes that’s all you need in the NFL. Twitter and social media has created so many fraudulent narratives about players and teams that it’s so difficult to keep track of who is actually good. Marlon Humphrey managed to receieve a top 10 Madden rating (ahead of Trevon Diggs) even though he’s been quite terrible for two years. That’s half Madden ratings being absolute bullshit as EA continues to rob the masses with the same game every single year and half an example of reputations living on forever. I don’t think I’ll have to worry about any Monday Morning talk shows leading with Baltimore’s defensive issues. Everything will eventually fall back on Lamar and whether or not he’s living up to the $260M contract extension he signed this offseason.
Personally I will be rooting for the Ravens this year. I hope their new offensive coordinator unleases a much more modernized passing attack and explores an unseen side of Lamar Jackson. If you open up the aerial assault it’ll just make his unreal ground game that much more dynamic and unstoppable. Defensive Coordinators already have nightmares about how to slow him down, I’d like to see if they turn to night terrors when you throw an actual WR core into the mix. We know they’ll be competitive in the divison, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were able to steal it from the Bengals. For now though, we’re going to have to stick with the recency bias on that one.
2023 Record: 11-6
2nd Place in AFC North
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Cleveland Browns Season Preview
My name is Cleveland Brownnnn, and I am proud to beeeeeee. The NFL’s ugliest franchise has somehow managed to be semi-relevant for the last 5 or so years. It all started when they drafted Baker Mayfield back in 2018. That pick certainly looked good for a while, but once it went downhill it fell apart QUICKLY. Luckily for Cleveland, they had already done the impossible before Baker became ass: built a strong roster. The pieces were there with a great offensive line, improved coaching (with Stefanski), and Myles Garrett. The missing piece? America’s favorite predator, Deshaun Simpson. They traded the rest of the farm for the notorious massage enthusiast and then proceeded to give him $230 million guaranteed. Way to go Cleveland. Let’s see how this is gonna work out for them…
I guess we can start with the obvious, Deshaun Cosby. He was suspended 11 games last year, then came back and sucked ass. I don’t know why people seem so confident in him turning right back into his old self this year. I know people that are counting on him to be a reliable fantasy quartberback and let me tell you, I ain’t one of them. The only fantasy we know he’ll show up for is in the massage section on Pornhub. Maybe he will be good but I certainly won’t be rooting for him. Sucks too, because the old Deshaun was such an exciting player to watch.
The Browns will luckily be toting out some solid weapons for their controversial QB. Like I said earlier, the O-line is a brick wall that forms the foundation of the team. You add in skill guys like Amari Cooper, Nick Chubb, and David Njoku to that and you’ve got a pretty formidable offense. Videos have been floating around of Nick Chubb looking like Atlas with the weight of the entire world on his back. As long as that mfer keeps his legs churning there’s no one that can bring him down. Dudes bounce off of him like he’s made of solid rubber and it’s pretty fuckin entertaining to watch.
On the defensive side of the ball, the Browns have Myles Garrett and Denzel Ward. I think that’s pretty much all I need to say. When you have two blue-chippers like that, the rest of your defense just kind of tends to morph around them. As long as Garrett can restrain himself from using everyone’s helmets as melee weapons then I’m sure he’s in for another DPOY-level season. I also forgot they added Za’Darius Smith to their pass rushing attack, that’s just great. Defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz is promising to blitz 5 every fucking play and just rely on his talented defensive backs to hold it down. Doesn’t seem like the wisest plan in the world but hey if you’ve got the talent, fuck it.
If Deshaun manages to return to form, the Browns actually could compete for a division title this year. Joey B and Lamar might have something to say about that but each of these teams is weirdly flawed. At leas they unveiled some cool new white helmets so I don’t have to shield my eyes from the nasty uniforms they usually trot out there. Cleveland, this is for you.
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New York Jets Season Preview
New Yawkkkkkkkkkk. I debated whether or not to even do this team, since Hard Knocks has officially decided to do it for me. I can’t think of a better candidate than the Jets for this year’s show. There’s no way we don’t get some quality content from the #GangGreen. The quarterback room alone should produce some content gold. We’ve got Zach Wilson trying to fuck everyone’s mom and Aaron Rodgers lacing everyone’s meal prep with ayahuasca. I don’t doubt there will be several practices where we look into that man’s eyes and instantly know that he is in another place. Regardless, Hard Knocks is the first warning sign that football is BACK, so I can’t fucking wait.
The Jets are a very polarizing team this year. They’ve finally managed to put together a very talented roster, but clearly didn’t have the missing piece last year: a quarterback. Zach Wilson managed to be one of the worst QBs in NFL history. His only redeeming quality is his pipe-laying ability, specifcally on older women. Perhaps if we replaced his WR core with the cast of Milf Manor he might have been able to hit shots on target. Nevertheless, the Jets now have the bane of my existence, Aaron Rodgers. I think we saw a little regression from my mortal enemy last season, but I have to imagine he’ll still be miles above what the Jets were throwing out last year. He managed to bring all the weapons that he complained about in Green Bay with him but now gets Garrett Willson as a bonus. Unless Rodgers decides he hates this WR just for being young (per usual), GW is gonna have a MONSTER year. He’s been a stud his whole life an somehow managed to put up 1,100 recieving yards as a rookie with a pornstar slinging him the rock. I don’t even wanna think about what his ceiling could be this year.
The Jets offense should also be celebrating the return of RB Breece Hall. He is coming off a torn ACL, so I won’t be surprised at all if he starts off the year pretty slow. Rumors have been swirling that FA RB Dalvin Cook might find his way to the concrete jungle soon. Daddy Rodgers gets what he wants I guess. He’s been bossing around the Jets front office since he was still in Green Bay. Good riddance.
The Jets will also be deploying a very young and talented defense this year. For once, they finally nailed they’re draft picks and have a couple young studs in Quinnen Williams and Sauce Gardner. Sauce Gardner is younger than me and is currently locking down the NFL’s best at WR and a multi-millionaire. Obviously not as cool as me writing this blog in my dingy over-priced apartment but hey congrats to the boy I guess. With defensive “guru” Robert Salah manning the helm, there’s no reason the Jets shouldn’t push for a top 3 defense this season (unless he’s a fraud). I like Salah, but there’s just something about guys with extra shiny bald heads that I don’t trust. If I have to shield my eyes from the glare when the camera pans to your coach on the sideline that’s an immediate red flag for me. Still, the jury has not yet decided what they think of Salah.
The Jets have all the makings of a super bowl contender, which means that Aaron Rodgers will do his damndest to derail this train. I don’t how many drugs it’s going to take, but there is a breaking point where this season goes horribly wrong for team Green. Hard Knocks is kind of a curse anyways, so pairing that with the QB’s drug addiction and the HC’s shiny ass head is a recipe for disaster. Let’s also not forget that the division is absolutely loaded this year, and there is literally no chance I’ll be trusting the Jets to pull it off. At the end of the day, the Jets are still the Jets and I will never trust them. I bet they’ll be involved in plenty of exciting games that lead to an epic, drama-filled season that leaves us feeling empty. Ironically their season kind of sounds like how a drugs function, and I don’t doubt Aaron Rodgers will be snorting every bit he can get his hands on. I certainly will not be rooting for him. At least Zach Wilson is making his life Hell in practice right now.
2023 Record: 10-7
3rd Place in AFC East
The Armchair Experts 